Grace Under Pressure 2

Enjoying an early view of the scenery On Thursday night it was the Winster Hll race, as part of the week long Winster Wakes. Only a few mins drive from TOM's and at a reasonable 4 mile undulating route it seemed too good an opportunity to miss. Especially on a glorious summers evening. So alongside 150 other seasoned and out of season runners I was off on the G of the BANG, on what we had been promised was a downhill opening mile on which we might be able to break our PB time. NB I didn't. What the pre race blurb didn't tell us was that at the end of the opening section there was a sharp steep hill which reduced everyone around me to a sudden slow crawl to the top.  We then undulated across the open fields for a mile or so, a pleasant change from the hard farm tracks the rest of the route seemed to follow. A meandering descent downhill meant only one thing, yes thats right, what goes down has to go back up again., so it was back to a pedestrian plod. I had hoped seeing as t...

In a revealing interview that might well contain some factual inaccuracies Andrew Ridgely has revealed that he really wanted to make Wham's farewell into a tour instead of just a one off at Wembley Stadlium Whilst many might think such a venture would be done to allow Wham to spread their artistic and creative wings, in order to explore further uncharted territory and say a proper farewell to their hordes of horemonal under 14 fans, Andrew Ridgely was bitterly disappointed because it stopped him from earning loads more cash simply by standing in George's shadow. Literally and metaphorically. "I didn't care that George wrote all the songs, choreographed all the moves, picked out all the clothes, attrated all the girl fans( even though he was a secret gayboy), whilst I just ponced about with a guitar which wasn't plugged in most of the time to be honest. Hey even our two back up singers Pepsi and Shirley were more famous than me." "I didn't care because...

After walking on stage at Glastonbury looking as if he was suffering from the world's worst ever case of piles, Elton John surprised most of the 100,000 crowd assembled by actually sitting for the duration of his set rather than remain still standing, probably better than he ever did. Speaking to Grace Under Pressure Elton revealed rather cryptically , "You could never know what it's like, your blood like winter freezes just like ice. There's a cold lonely light that shines from you and you wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use," which was probably a little too much medical information for most of our readers. Elton then went on to confim that his performance on Sunday night would in fact be the very last time anyone would see him standing. "Standing is over," he remarked, "I've been doing it since 1971 and I'd had enough. The poor old hips, knees and feet just can't take it any more. I'm certainly not feeling like...

Taking his cue from the cinema singalong that accompanies the final scene in the Life of Brian, former Health Secretary Matt Hancock has taken a somewhat unexpectedly positive look to the pandemic whilst giving evidence to the Covid enquiry. Whilst making a minimal passing acknowledgement to the mistakes that were made, rules that were broken, money that was wasted, limits on freedom that were imposed, mismanagement of resources and all the other negative consequences of the government being unbelievably unprepared for anything of this nature, on the positive side, he got to have sex with an attractive woman. Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's own viral sensation, Mr Hancock continued, "I can understand people are angry to see me breaking my own social distancing rules by trying to swap faces with my new lover but just look how fit she is. Talk about being out of my league and yet being able to punch way above my weight." "Yes I know that for many people the pande...

In a right royal move William, Prince of Wales has announced a five week plan during which he plans to single handedly end homelessness. Whilst many have attempted to tackle this issue in the past, and others have cast doubt on William's plans, the future morarch himself appeared positive that he could bring about such a dramatic change in the lives of the estimated 3000,000 homeless within a few short weeks, perhaps even days. "Homelessness is something that can happen to anyone," revealed Wiliam, "one minute it's all happy families and then the next you find oneself out on one's ear, the financial support cut off and a multi million pound Spotify deal cancelled because one's content has been such utter s&%*e. All one's celebrity friends start to drift away and suddenly one is out of one's mansion in the Monetcito hills of LA. It's a tragedy!" Whilst observors had suggested he might aim his good intentions at areas where homelessness...

It's official, or at least as official as Grace Under Pressure ever gets. Foo Fighters front man Dave Grohl is now more omnipresent than God. Following the three days of the Glastonbury festival during which time period Grohl appeared to more people in more places than Jesus did post resurrection, fans of grunge rock have elevated him from the status of rock god to fully divine being Not content with disappointing hundereds of fans of The Churnups, who had arrived at Glasto in the hope of seeing their idols, Grohl having stolen a headline set with his own band, then proceeded to appear alongside The Pretenders and Guns n Roses. And then just to rumbber stamp his omnipresent nature miraculously appeared on a GW train too. One which actually ran on time as if further proof of his divine powers were needed Everywhere people looked there he was, or at least that was the rumour circulating Worthy Farm. People were convinced he had been part of Lizzo's backing dancers whilst others s...

  Hucknall couple Steve and Karen Humphries are today still wondering what the fuss about Glastonbury is really all about. Festival virgins, whose only other experience of an outdoor event was going to see Alfie Boe in the New Forest, Steve and Karen have been left a little dscombobulated by Glasto as they revealed to Grace Under Pressure's very own hippie hack. "I mean we paid £340 just for the ticket. And that's before all the extras like food and stufF. £15 for a  pizza is more than our weekly shop at our local Lidl. We spent the first day trying to find where we had erected the tent which was a bit like that scene in The Blair Witch Project as we just kept coming back to the same place over and over again no matter what direction we went in." "When we eventually did find the Pyrmid stage, we couldn't see anything We couldn't even see Lizzo and her dancing backing singers for all the knobs either climbing on other peoples shoulders or waving ginorm...

    Organisers of trip to Titainic aboard Titan arranged by a Tit accused of cutting corners in order to save letters.

So another musical discovery, and one that is apparently on of Dermot O'Leary's favourite artists. I first heard him driving to our  weekly 'team talk' on the Zoe Ball breakfast show, no we ie 'team talk' weren't on the Zoe Ball brekfast show, the song was being played on the show. Anyway it really caught my attention and so I went surfing to discover more.  And imagine my suprise when the mental picture I had formed of Albin Lee Meldau simply by hearing his voice was that he was a well built black singer from the USA, turned out to be a slim bespectacled Swede!! So sit back on this sultry summers day and enjoy two different versions of my current ear worm. This is Albin Lee Meldau with 'The weight is gone'      

Since arriving in this part of the world back in 2018, I have travelled out to Thurgarton to lead services and do pastoral stuff a couple of times a month, without really knowing that there are a series of lakes less than 1/2 a km from the road along which I travelled.  But it turns out that if one turns to head down the road less travelled, or at least less travelled by me, there they are. The invite from one of my running clubs was to celebrate the summer solstice with a run around the perimeter of the lake but with a little bit of wild water swimming thrown in. So I guess today I officially became bi...a biathlete that is. I struggle to remember when the last time I went for a swim was? I certainly swam when I went out to India / Bangladesh to visit the families, or at least entered into the village pond to have a bath. But here in the UK, I have no idea. I certainly can't remember the last time I did what is now refered to as wild water swiming and certainly not in an old grave...

  Assuming you've never had to go to synod....

  Grace Under Pressure is today sending out an urgent appeal for spines. These are for the 225 MP's who didn't vote last night on the Partygate report. Shame on you all.

  So there we were, all chomping at the bit for the launch of the new East Side Methodist Church Tiny Toes play group. We had the people to run it, the toys to encourage exploration and engagement, we even had the strangest CD of Nursery Rhymes featuring what sounded like several Ibiza Club mixes. Unfortunatly what we didn't have was anyone actually turn up. Stiil at least it meant the volunteers didn't have to fihg tover the toys and we all enjoyed a lovely mid afternoon nap. Hey ho, onwards and upwards. Let's see what next week brings with a little more faith and perhaps a lot more publicity. As D:Ream once sang...things can only get better

After two hours of thumder and lightening during the night I thought I'd continue the theme with this banger from Far from Saints, a new group put together with Kelly Jones of the Stereophnics and Austin’s Patty Lynn and Dwight Baker of The Wind and The Wave. Together they have co-written an album evoking a cross-genre sound spanning country, rock, folk, and Americana, and this is a banger. The video is pretty pants but the song's a cracker that really grows.

First there was Dolly the sheep.Then just this week there was the announcent that scientists have created synthetic human embryos using just stem cells, in a technological advance that sidesteps the need for eggs or sperm.  Now Grace Under Pressure can reveal that in a breakthrough that is seen as groundbreaking, very conservative scientists have developed an arsehole able to write fact free fiction on toilet paper. Who knows what will science be able to do next?  

Readers of this blog over the past couple of years will perhaps remember that I have had a series of running nemesis'. These are people that I knew ran at roughly the same speed as I did (slow) and whom I attempted to finish ahead of whenever we found ourselves in the same race. First it was 'Joseph', more recently it has been 'Elizabeth', and now it is 'Les'  Last night was what I suspect might be the first of several encounters over the summer months when we ran in the Gridleford fell race on a glorious evening.  With 330 starters of varying size and speed my aim was two fold, to not finish in the bottom 50 and also if possible to beat 'Les' A quick run around the perimeter of the cricket square, by which time the greyhounds in the field were out of sight, and the race within the race was on. I had seen the Youtube video of last year's event so I knew that the first 2 miles would be up, up and up again, what I perhaps didn't realise was tha...

  Emergency services were called to an address on the border of Herne Hill and Dulwich Village in south east London this morning after a man's trousers suddenly burst into flames for no reason he could comprehand. This act of spontaneous combustion happened a little after 9am, exactly the same time as a report by the Parlimentary Priviliges committe released a long awaited report to a waiting world eager for another celebrity or political scandal. Speaking to Grace Under Pressure one of his neighbours remarked, " I've read about these kind of things happening but never actually seen it. It was quite spectacular. He'd just come back in from one of those johs he does just for the benefit of the press." "One minute His pants were perfect and the next the fabric was aflame. All I could here was him screaming, 'But I got Brexit done and we've taken back control. Except he didnt and we haven't. Just another lie to add fuel to the fire so to speak."...

 

Ever thought you has seen the high point in post match winning celebrations with Freddie Flintoff's bleary eyed stagger into no 10 to meet the Prime Minister, the day after the famous Ashes victory back in 2005 well think again.  Jack Grealish appears to have set a new standard in the level of alcohol a person can have in his /her bloodstream and still remain alive following Manchester City's Champions League victory in Istanbul. Having to be kept upright and helped out of their Ibiza hotel by teammate Kyle Walker, by the time the team arrived back in Manchester, the 2 hour flight had obviously not been enough for Grealish to sober up as he threatened to do a 'Bidden' attempting to negotiate the steps down from the aircraft.  Then on the open top bus through the city one exhalation of breath from the young midfield maestro was enough to intoxicate over 1000 people stood watching the parade. Pedallo owners in and around the Etihad stadium have been warned to keep their a...

Nicola Sturgeon always wanted independence, having based her whole poitical career on such a demand. Now it appears she is going to get it, as the leadership team of the Scottish National Party gather to vote as to whether they should grant her wish, although not quite in the manner anyone expected. This time independence will mean the SNP removing themselves from Nicola Sturgeon. Following the arrest of their former leader’s arrest on Sunday, the Scottish National Party is thought to be planning a once in a generation referendum on whether to cut all ties with Ms Sturgeon and her husband, their former treasurer. Aiming to use the Fleetwood Mac tune, 'Go Your Own Way' for its independence campaign, for once it appears that there will be no opposition to the SNP's proposal from the British government who have more than enough issues at the moment with their own former leader to care two hoot a nannies what happens north of the border. Opinion might well be divided. Some mig...

  So last weekend TOM was just about to be released from a short stay in hospital. Thankfully he has made a good recocery or is at least back to his usual grumpy irritable self so I suppose thats progress. still no nearer finding out what the issue was.  This wekend has been a bit up and down but for different reasons. We hit the red carpet again this time down in Derby (one of my favourite little theatres) to see Around the World in 80 Days, which was good but simply paled in comparison with The Ocean at the End of the Lane, which I had seen a few days earlier. But TOM enjoyed it and didnt seem to struggle too much during the trip so that was a win. Early Saturday I went running, a route I have done three of four times in the past couple of months, mainly as it means I can meet TOM as he was delivering a morning paper to one of his friends in town. The encouraging news is that that this week was the fastest I had every covered that paricular route just short of 4 miles. Even ...

  Whilst many might have thought that Boris Johnson's hair hadn't seen the sight of a comb for decades, it turns out that his infamous 'dragged trough a hedge backwards' look was actually intentional.  That’s right, the famous blonde mop isn’t just something that he wakes up with following a nightmarish encounter with Edward Scissorhands but rather an intentional look crafted by House of Commons hairdresser Kelly Jo Dodge. How else one explain an MBE to the House of Commons hairdresser ? Still as they say in politics....'hair today and gone tomorrow' which in Mr Johnson's case is a fitting epitaph given he's just been given the chop. Pity is wasn't the snip a lot earlier!!

Sometimes things can catch you off guard and as a result produce / provoke unexpected results. Last night I had such an experience having travelled into Nottingham to see an adaptation of Neil Gaimans' The Ocean at the end of the Lane' at the Theatre Royal.  It was a ticket I had purchased several months ago, a spur of the moment decision based on a very vague memory of having enjoyed reading the book and also some great reviews from its run at the National Theatre.  Come the night of the performance, having had a poor nights sleep the evening before and with a mounting pile of things to do for work, I set off to catch the tram with the feeling that this was one little jolly I could perhaps have done without. How wrong was I? It was a stunning evening of staging, effects, thunderous music, smoke, giant puppets, wonderfully creative use of space and simple and yet incredibly effective props. Just like when Pi leapt from the boat and 'disappeared' into the floor of the st...

Heard this on the radio the other night and just loved it. It's taken me a couple of days to track down who it is but I hope you think the wait was worthwhile.  It's by a singer I know next to nothing about but who I hope to find out a great deal more about in the next few weeks. This is the etheral voice of Arlo Parks with the perfect track to start off a Thursday.  

With news that Taylor Swift has split up from her most recent paramour, Matty Healy of rock band 'The 1975', barely dry on the page, 58 year old Hucknall resident Barry Braithwaite is already shapening his patter in order to try and win Ms Swift's heart. Showing previously unseen levels of care and compassion, Barry Braithwaite is planning to act while she’s at a low ebb, emotionally vulnerable and definitly on the rebound. News reaching Grace Under Pressure can reveal that Barry has already 'poked her' on Facebook to announce that he too is currently single and looking for someone to share the healing process with.  Now he's quite like to 'poke' her in the flesh, a move that he is convinced will lead to hours of rampant sex and debauchery if that was also on offer. He's even gone as far as saying he prefers the re-recorded versions of her earlier albums which despite being identical to the original version, sound to his ears even more original that...

In an act of bravery that will almost certainly see her win either a Victoria Cross or a Pride of Britain award, Holly Willoughby yesterday managed to sit on a sofa a mere 14 days after discovering that a man she knew, but was not in any sort of relationship with, had not been absolutly honest with her about his private life. Returning back to work yesterday after needing only two weeks holiday in the sun to 'process the trauma', Hollow Willoughby, addressed the nation's sad and lonely daytime TV viewers by asking them, 'if they were all okay?'after discovering her former co presenter and 'television husband' had been getting some younger cock.  Comforted by her new best friend Josie, Ms Willoughby admitted to being both shaken and stirred by recent events but still managed to keep a piece of butter in her mouth without it melting during her scripted speech. According to research carried out by Grace Under Pressure Holy Willoughby is thought to the first wom...

  TOM is back home resting. I am back home recovering. And far more important Holly is back on the sofa reinventing. Normal service will resume shortly....

  Home at last....but exhausted!

  We were almost on our way and then a mix up / confusion with TOM's tablets meant yet another night in hospital. Frustrating but better safe than sorry.

    TOM is still in hospital but feeling better...