29th June Elton not standing anymore


After walking on stage at Glastonbury looking as if he was suffering from the world's worst ever case of piles, Elton John surprised most of the 100,000 crowd assembled by actually sitting for the duration of his set rather than remain still standing, probably better than he ever did.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure Elton revealed rather cryptically , "You could never know what it's like, your blood like winter freezes just like ice. There's a cold lonely light that shines from you and you wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use," which was probably a little too much medical information for most of our readers.

Elton then went on to confim that his performance on Sunday night would in fact be the very last time anyone would see him standing. "Standing is over," he remarked, "I've been doing it since 1971 and I'd had enough. The poor old hips, knees and feet just can't take it any more. I'm certainly not feeling like a little kid. I mean did you see me trying to dance, it made Peter Crouch's robot seem positively fluid." 

"People think I'm the Rocket man but after all these joint replacements I'm gonna be the Bionic man. From now on sweetie, standing is definitely out and I'm gonna be sitting, lounging, reclining, lolling, reposing and lying. How long it is going to be before I stand again, well I think it's gona be a long long time."







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