25th June Glum at Glasto

 


Hucknall couple Steve and Karen Humphries are today still wondering what the fuss about Glastonbury is really all about. Festival virgins, whose only other experience of an outdoor event was going to see Alfie Boe in the New Forest, Steve and Karen have been left a little dscombobulated by Glasto as they revealed to Grace Under Pressure's very own hippie hack.

"I mean we paid £340 just for the ticket. And that's before all the extras like food and stufF. £15 for a  pizza is more than our weekly shop at our local Lidl. We spent the first day trying to find where we had erected the tent which was a bit like that scene in The Blair Witch Project as we just kept coming back to the same place over and over again no matter what direction we went in."

"When we eventually did find the Pyrmid stage, we couldn't see anything We couldn't even see Lizzo and her dancing backing singers for all the knobs either climbing on other peoples shoulders or waving ginormous flags in the air. It wasn't like that for Sir Cliff at Blennheim Palace I'll tell you."

"Last night we we did think at one point we could hear Axel Rose from Guns n Roses sining but its turned out to be a dog in a severe state of discomfort after being run over by Emily Evis and Paul McCartney in an eco tractor."

"In order to avoid further disappointment, today we have set off at 6am to try to ensure we get a spot right at the front for Elton John. So imagine our surprise to discover that despite setting off before the first sparrow's fart,  Holly Willoghby was already there before us. At least we'll know where to empty Karen's 'she-wee' if it really doesn't hold 5 litres!"

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