27th June Wills wages war


In a right royal move William, Prince of Wales has announced a five week plan during which he plans to single handedly end homelessness.

Whilst many have attempted to tackle this issue in the past, and others have cast doubt on William's plans, the future morarch himself appeared positive that he could bring about such a dramatic change in the lives of the estimated 3000,000 homeless within a few short weeks, perhaps even days.

"Homelessness is something that can happen to anyone," revealed Wiliam, "one minute it's all happy families and then the next you find oneself out on one's ear, the financial support cut off and a multi million pound Spotify deal cancelled because one's content has been such utter s&%*e. All one's celebrity friends start to drift away and suddenly one is out of one's mansion in the Monetcito hills of LA. It's a tragedy!"

Whilst observors had suggested he might aim his good intentions at areas where homelessness was acknowledged to be a major problem such as Brixton, Bournmouth and Newport, speaking to Grace Under Pressure William revealed slightly different plans.

"It is one's aim to bring homelessness to an end by utlising vacant or grossly underused properties starting with a handful in the capital, Norfolk, Scotland and a teeny, tiny plot of land in Cornwall. One just needs to get one's logistics in place, such as working out how many homeless people one can fit into a state room or on a mahussive four poster bed but its probably quite a lot. Now if I can just find out where Papa has put the spare keys to all of one's palaces, one will be good to go."




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