28th June Always look on the bright side of life


Taking his cue from the cinema singalong that accompanies the final scene in the Life of Brian, former Health Secretary Matt Hancock has taken a somewhat unexpectedly positive look to the pandemic whilst giving evidence to the Covid enquiry.

Whilst making a minimal passing acknowledgement to the mistakes that were made, rules that were broken, money that was wasted, limits on freedom that were imposed, mismanagement of resources and all the other negative consequences of the government being unbelievably unprepared for anything of this nature, on the positive side, he got to have sex with an attractive woman.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's own viral sensation, Mr Hancock continued, "I can understand people are angry to see me breaking my own social distancing rules by trying to swap faces with my new lover but just look how fit she is. Talk about being out of my league and yet being able to punch way above my weight."

"Yes I know that for many people the pandemic really messed with their mental health and well being. I know thousands of people lost loved ones and couldn't see them in their last days or even attend their funeral. And I sense that my ex wife Martha is still quite bittter about the whole affair, but we need to find some positives in all of this."

"One of them is was that I managed to cop off with a really hot women. Then I made huge amounts of wonga going on 'I’m A Celebrity' before finally getting myself a book deal. So who says that the 24 month shit show that was the pandemic was negative for everyone!". 



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