Grace Under Pressure 2

    TOM currently in hospital so....

Ever wished you could turn the other cheek, walk the extra mile or offer someone your coat even though they have only demanded your shirt? Ever wanted to appear more gracious and compassionate than Jesus?  In fact have you ever set the bar so high that your aim was to be like the paragon of kindness and grace that is Eamonn Holmes? Then want no more for Grace Under Pressure is proud to present to 1st instalment in the Eamonn Holmes guide to 'Being a Better Human Being'. Perhaps you could start by reaching out to someone at a former workplace. So what if they got a job you thought you deserved because you and your wife were a proper couple and he was a closet queen with a penchant for younger men. Remember you can't change the past, but you can keep banging on about it, as if your moment in front of the camera was the pinnacle of British TV. Be glad that your career trajectory has been such that moving from prime time ITV to Sky and then continuing that downward spiral t...

On Sunday evening, it was time for another solo jolly into Nottingham for a little bit of mirth and merriment. Appearing for  the last of his four nights at the Playhouse was one of my favourite comedians, the wonderfully sardonic  Stewart Lee. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Stewart Lee, shame on you, for those of you who are well you will not need me to tell you what a wonderful two hours it was. Lee first came to my attention as part of Fist of Fun, alongside the equally wonderful Richard Herring and is often referred to as the comedian's comedian, whatever that is supposed to mean. And I managed to catch him a couple of years ago when he did his double header 'Snowflake and Tornado' show at the same venue. This current show featured material from across his entire back catalogue,which during the first half he used to demonstrate how he puts together a show and then in the second half showed how he delivers such materiial. And yet to try and describe what he doe...

In a nail biting finish that had viewers wondering just how long was this going to go on for, Luton Town have finally secured the third automatic relegation spot from the Premier League this time next year. Die hard fan (ie life long supporter rather than Bruce Willis fronted film franchise) Ivan Hatton, spoke to Grace Under Pressure through teary eyes as he revealed, "It's not just about the football is it. The £170m that is offered to the club from the Premier League and associated TV rights etc could help the economy of the whole town, indeed the whole region. I mean who woudn't want to see Luton brought into the late 80's."  “Every supporter dreams of their team getting battered home and away by Manchester City, Liverpool, Man Utd and the rest.  Now that dream is about to become reality. Following our relegation at the end of the 91-92 season it has been a long hard road back for 'the Hatter's' to top flight football but we're there now....

Just when he thought his world couldn't get much worse, Phillip Schofield has been hit by a new wave of allegations relating to another inappropriate relationship with someone much younger in age. In a world exclusive Grace Under Pressure has spoken to the victim of Schofield's alleged unwanted attention, Mr Gordon Gopher.  A visible distrught Mr Gopher began, "We were alone in that broom cupboard for hours at a time, day after day, week after week with no responsible adult or chaperone. I was so inexperienced and just wanted to get on in television.  I thought Schofield was just trying to be friendly. But its such a small space in the cupboard and what started off as an 'accidental touch' soon became a hand left for just a moment too long until after a few months he was in for a penny, in for a pound so to speak." "The worse bit was that he did it to me whilst we were on air. I just had to try to block it out but I don't know if you've ever notic...

So almost the end of our little jolly in Manchester so what better way than to arrive at Piccadilly station than a full 70 minutes before our train was due to depart...just in case. Just in case what I am still not sure. Still it did at least give me the chance to recover from the shock of our train tickets to Poynton costing £15 as oposed to the £5 it had cost to travel into Manchester from Hazel Grove a few days earlier. And I was very disappointed that at that price when our carriage finally did arrived it wasn't a gold one, just for the two of us, pulled by a team of unicorns. A quick stop over with Gill in Poynton for a cuppa and a debrief and then we were on our way back to Matlock, travelling over the Cat and Fiddle on a gloriously sunny day. It has been a really good couple of days away, but one that has raised a few questions about our planned trip to Madrid, Seville and Barcelona later in the year esp regarding TOM's breathlessness when walking. Hopefully we can get ...

So our second day in Cottonopolis and after a good and much needed nights sleep, we set off back into the city under a much cloudier sky, headed towards the Museum of Science and Industry. Unfortunatly at least half of it, possibly the most interesting bit, was closed due to a multi million pound renovations and so our viewing was limited both by what was on offer, and there is only so long you can read about the history of textiles, (although TOM did manage to stretch that out to extraordinary lengths) and also the presence of various school groups whose nature varied from hyperactive to hyperbored. With no real plans for the rest of the day, we hopped on one of the free buses that wizz round the city and got off up near 'the village' thinking that we would have a spot of lunch in what is probably one of Manchesters most iconic locations after the cobbles of Corrie. We arrived to discoved bugger all open. Canal Street was firmly shut.  In the series Little Britain, Daffyd, oft...

So apologies for the late upload but I have been on a mini break with TOM to Cottonopolis or as you will more commonly know it Manchester. And the reason well a jolly to see something at the theatre that turned out to be two things at the theatre but more of that later. On Tuesday night I should have been venturing out on a 10km fell run in Totley, south Sheffield, a trip organised to coincide with picking up a trinket but due to a 'marketplace mix up' that fell through at the last minute, Plan A was abandoned in favour of Plan B, meant I did a 10km run closer to home, one which took in running over the beautiful Bennerley Viaduct.  To sum up the run in a nutshell, there was a 'steady' group which went off like greyhounds out of the trap. There was a 'steadier' group that went off at a pace that still left me gasping. What there wasn't was a 'steadies't group for plodders and so well as you will already have worked out I made up a group of my own for...

 

In a move that will perhaps surprise many, Dominic Raab has emerged as the front runner to replace Phillip Schofield on the Good Morning sofa. Following the shock 'was he pushed or did he jump' resignation of Schofield last week, ITV bosses have fixed their sights on someone who would be able to settle on the sofa succcesfully. Speaking to Grace Under Pressure   Good Morning floor manager, Nuther Shitshow, revealed " Dominic is just perfect for the role. He's spent years talking bollocks live on air and looking down on people as if he trodden in something. He's not gay but he could very well be sometime in the future, maybe with Rylan or someone much much younger who works on the show. He would be the cock between the two mother hens of Holly and Alison."  "And his people skills well I hear they are up there with Phil's, and having been an MP there must be loads of skeletons in the closet, waiting to be splashed all over the tabloids. We already hear ...

It is a difficult question but who do you feel sorriest for this morning? Is it poor Philip Schofield who came out of the closet only to find himself back with Gordon the gopher in the broom cupboard after being unceremoniously kicked off the sofa by  Holly 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' Willoughby? Or is it that ever so unlucky Suella Braverman, who after breaking the law thought she could dodge the law, as a result of her making the laws. It can't have been easy for Phil these past few months. Admitting he was gay, being caught queue jumping at Queen Elizabeth's funeral, discovering his brother was right up there with Rolf Harris and Jimmy Saville on the Peado parade but worst of all having to sit on that sofa and listen to Alison Hammond witter on and on and on. As for Suella, well its just been one success story after another hasn't it. First failed Email 101, when she sent classified documents via her personal account, then she failed to get a sinle as...

'What do you mean I'm your Dad?' Grace under Pressure would today like to offer our heartiest congratulation to Boris johnson and his wife Carry (its a verb as well as a name) on their soon to arrive 3rd child. It's nice to know that fighting for his political career, the state of the nation and the reputation of the UK back in late August / September 2022 didnt prevent bonking Boris from finding the time, energy and opportunity to rut like a wild animal in order to impregnate his wife. (Pause to allow the writer of this blog to overcome the waves of nausea at such a thought) The question on everyone's lips however it not whether it will be a boy or a girl, but just how many siblings will he / she have...seven, eight or nine. Submit your best guess via the usual means to the usual address. But at the end of the day I guess we've all been f%$&£d by Boris during his time in power so who really cares

In a world exclusive Grace Under Pressure can today reveal  the highlights of the soon to be released 'Indiana Jones and the Stannah stair lift featuring 80 year old Harrison Ford .   Known for performing many of his own stunts, this final installment in the franchise sees Harrison continueto push that bar even higher. During an opening scene in the film Jones has to make three cups of Ovaltine for some vsiting friends.  In five minutes of celluloid magic that is certain to have audience members on the edge of their seats, not only does Indiana have to remember who has sugar, who prefers sweetners but also who wants it made with oat milk, but he has to singlehandedly (although in the scene he does use two) carry all three drinks from the kitchen and place them down on the living room table without spilling a single drop. He does however have to pop back for the biscuits showing he is not super human after all. Then there is heart stopping moment when instead of slipping b...

One of the advantages of driving in the car is that it gives me the chance to listen to music as I toottle along. Sometimes this can be something new that has just caught my ear or it can be something I already own but which I haven't listened to in a while.  On occasions it can even be something I had forgotten but how brilliant it was. Yesterday was one such experience when I had a trip down memory lane with David Ford, a name that I am sure most of you will not recognise. Long, long before Ed Sheeran discovered the dealy loop pedal and ability to multitrack several instruments together during a live performance, there was David ford. I was lucky enogh to see David in the basement of a small venue in Manchester whose name I have long since forgotten almost two decades ago.  He was blistering as he played most of his debut album 'I sincerely apologise for all the trouble I've caused' solo on stage but with enough musical ingenuity to make it sound like he had a whole b...

If people thought that it strange to see the PM's entourage tearing down the motorway earlier this week and wondered if there was a last minute diplomatic emergency, have no fear. It was simply Rishi Sunak's attempt to grab just one more photo opportunity with Ukrainiane President Volodamir Zelensky before he flew back to the Ukraine. According to the think tank at Tory head office, the best possible option to take the nation's focus off how badly this government have been doing for, oh let's see, the past 13 years, is to be seen in a photograph with one of life's winners.  So whilst many think the purpose of President Zelensky coming over to the UK time and time again is to gain our support and more weapons for the fight against Putin's invasion (although hopefully not a convoy of 'Think Tanks'), it is in fact a carefully designed PR ploy by Rish Sunak to simply be seen with as many famous people, celebrities, heads of state and world leaders as often...

  Just when you might have expected it was impossible to heap any more pressure onto the shoulders of student studying for GCSE and A levels, Grace Under Pressure can reveal news that the educational achievement bar has been raised even higher.  No longer are students concerned whether their grades will be enough to secure them a place at a 6th form college or university of their choice (preferable one that is not just a polytechnic by another name) but their main thought is now will they be good enough to stand a chance of qualifying for the new Suella Bravaman career option of APF or Apprectice Fruit Picker. This job which was pre Brexit done by a seasonal migrant workforce, has like a turd that has been rolled in glitter, now been relaunched by Ms Braverman as the go to career for high flyers. Offered a starting salary of just under £6 an hour, what the job lack in fincncial renumeration it more than makes up for the sense of satisfaction of knowing you are playing a vital ...

One of the potential problems with having a new kitchen installed is that it's muliple users sometime struggle to locate just where everything is. Clear, concise signage is a must. Thankfully at East Side that has all been taken sorted.  

On Saturday night UK Eurovision entry Mae Muller managed to follow in the celebrated footsteps of some of the nation's previous other chanteuse. Unfortunatly it was not in the footsteps of Sam Ryder, Katrina and the Waves, Brotherhood of man, Sandie Shaw, Lulu or Buck's Fizz who actually managed to win the competition. Instead she manage to match the success of Electro Velvet, Josh Dubovie, Andy Abraham, Samantha Janus and the very unforgettable Scootch. Sadly Mae's attempts to reach for the stars with a song which had been praised and played to death by UK Radio stations over the past couple of months ended up being musical equivalent of Tesla trying to get the world's largest ever rocket into space. A spectacular crash and burn that was left in the jetstream  of a man who appeared to channel his inner David Brent dad dance whilst simpy shouting 'Cha, cha, cha cha' at the top of his voice. At one point near the end of the voting Grace Under Pressure can reveal ...

  A day of driving back from Bristol at 6am, hosting an afternoon of jigsaws, conducting a quiz ( in my bestest and brightest Ukrainian Eurovision colours even though noone noticed or realised) and then putting together (or even starting) two different services for this morning.  Holidays are supposed to be relaxing but to be honest I feel as if I need a holiday to get over the one I have just had, because I feel knackered!!

Yesterday it was a toss up whether we hit the road and went to visit somewhere further afield or stayed close to home. In the end there wasn't really a discussion as TOM wanted to visit a few places in the city we hadn't had chance to have a proper look at earlier in the week.  With the trains being on strike it meant a trip into the city centre on the bus, which seeing as it left from a mere 100 yards from our AirBnB, meant we didn't have the 1/2 km walk to the railway station. And seeing as TOM could use his free bus pass, and I could buy a multi trip day ticket, it turned out to be nearer, cheaper and just as quick. We wandered around Cabot Circus, the shopping part of the city, but we were there before much of it had opened or certainly before there were many shoppers about. We even passed by John Wesley's New Room but the spirit didn't direct either of us to pause and go inside.   As for the rest of the day, well we meandered, we stopped, we daudled, we paused,...

Today we exchanged one B for another as we left behind the city landscape of Bristol for the more tranquil setting of Bath or should that be Barth? And because the railways are having another 48 hours of industrial action it was now or never unless we fancied doing the trip on the bus or car which TOM didn't, so we didn't. Unlike Bristol, Bath certainly seemed to be well and truly on the tourist trail and was far busier with overseas and stay at home guests. But I guess with the attraction of the Roman Baths, the architecture, the Royal Cresent and Jane Austin thrown in for good measure one can see the attraction. It also means that for us the hop on hop off buses were far more frequent than the one an hour in Bristol. In fact not only were they more frequent but the tour was split between two distinct buses, one offering a meander through the city streets, the other taking people out along what was called the 'skyline' tour offering a brief sojourn around the roads on ...

  After sleeping the sleep of the dead, we took the train back into the city for part two of our Bristolian adventure. And realising the local buses were free for TOM, on account of his bus pass and it only costing £2 for me ( a benefit of the nationwide reduced fares to help out with the cost of living crisis, today we didn't have to wait for the Hop on Hop on bus to meander its was around the city to reach us. In fact by 10.30am we were enjoying a sedate cruise down the waters of the docks on route to see the first thing on our agenda. Although not born in Bristol, one of its most famous sons is Isambard Kingdom Brunel, builder of railways, bridges, boats, train stations, tunnels and viaductS. two of his most famous engineering achievements just happen to be here in the city, the Clifton Suspension bridge and the ship that once hed the record as the largest passanger ship on the ocean when launched in 1845, the SS Great Britain. It would not I have to admit have been on my list o...

So our first day in the capital of the south west of England, with apologies to all residents of Devon and Cornwall, and our cunning plan was to simply get ourselves orientated in the city.  Turns out we are only two stations out of the city from Temple Meads, the main railway station in the city, the roof of which appears to be held up entirely by scaffolding, and so it took longer for us to amble to the station than the time we spent actually on the train.   We planned to use the hop on hop off tourist bus (£15 for two days worth of journeys) but as there was only one of them operating, and Temple Meads for stop 14 out of 14, we had to wait the best part of 40 mins for it to actually arrive. Once it did we hopped on, not as easy manouver for TOM with his two crutches, and then sat back to enjoy a drive through the city under pretty overcast but thankfully dry skies. A journey through the very posh parts of the city which made the area we had chosen to stay in look even more ...

So today finds me playing away from home and a little trip with TOM to Bristol. It was planned a while ago as neither of us had really been here before save for a daytrip 30 years ago (him) and several concerts whilst a student at Cardiff(me) the journey down was pretty uneventful. We enjoyed a people watch a Strensham service station whilst trying to make a cup of Costa coffee last as long as possible to justify the fact it had costa packet to buy it. This included observing one woman who came into the service area adorned in a dressing gown. I tried to convince TOM that it might have been a very expensive high end fashion 'house coat' but he was having none of it We are staying in the Easton area of the city which first impressions suggest is very multicultural and also quite deprived but as we only intend to use it as a base to explore the city and surrounding area it will be fine, and possibly eye opening for both of us. As is our norm for these little jollies we are stayin...

Originally billed as a concert that would astonish the world with it's line up, last nights event at Windsor turned out to be more garden party than Glastonbury. After one then another artist (Adele, Ed Sheeran, Sir Paul McCartney even the Spice Girls) pulled out for a variety of reasons, we ended up with a line up that made the Queen's Platinum Jubilee celebrations look like real rock Royalty. Whilst one couldn't fault the staging or setting, on stage well it was another matter, as too many mis matched ingredients from all over the Commonwealth simply thrown into a melting pot with very mixed results.  I sat wondering in bewilderment what on earth was Paloma Faith wearing until Katy Perry appeared on stage dressed as a giant Quality Street.  Nicole Sherzinger sang a song she had never sung before and which I suspect no one knew. Even Lang Lang was upstaged by the blind pianst from the TV show The Piano. And who knew that King Charles was such a fan of Ibiza dance classi...

  Having thrown a temper tantrum his 4yr old son Archie would have been proud of after discovering he wasn't allowed to have a Netflic crew with him to film his very, very, very, very important role in the coronation service yesterday, Grace Under Pressure has released this exclusive image of Prince Harry being forced to 'take some time out' and sit on the ancient Stone of Naughty.

   Wigan or Windsor?    

So its the start of a weekend long foodathon to celebrate the Coronation of Charlie, kicking off with pie and peas lunch over at East Side yesterday. This replaced our usual soup and a roll fayre and was a chance to actually see if I could manage to use the new oven, bearing in mind it took me a good 30 mins and several phone calls to work out how to operate one of the rings last week. We had 21 people signed up plus an extra 8 pies in case we had anyone dropping in my chance. And it all went rather regally. The pies were lovely, the mushy peas mouthwatering and even if the cream on the scones (not Scownes) could have done with a bit more whipping, no one seemed to mind. But thats not all, in between courses we had a bit of a sing a long with one of regular diners, 'G Star Graham', who led a 20 mins trip down memory lane including war time favourite, songs by the Beatles, The Monkeys and a quick blast of the obligatory Neil Diamond football anthem, Sweet Caroline   Given that h...

    Don't be too embarrased to check your own 'crown jewels'.  A little bit of time taken now might mean avoiding a whole lot of trouble later on!!  

Scientists have predicting that hundreds of thousands of relationship are in danger of breaking apart after one or other partner has  discovered that conversing with an AI Chat Bot is more engaging and interesting that a conversation with their real life partner. This should not be confused with an AI Chapped Bot Bot which is a very different matter. Speaking in an exclusive interview with Grace Under Pressure, an unnamed couple who we shall call John and TOM revealed, "AI Chat Bots don't talk when the news is on, can work out who the killer is in a TV mystery, don't get confused by flashbacks in storylines, don't bark orders from the kitchen, won't critisise your driving even though they never offer to do it, leave you in peace to read the Daily Mail cover to cover and never ever say it's self inflicted. TOM in particular said, "Oh it's so quiet when he's not here, so unbelievably peaceful. He doesn't even take the hint when I keep shouting ou...

Are you confused about the countdown to the Coronation? Well confuse no longer because Grace Under Pressure brings you a right royal guide to everything kingly. Monday 1st Don't get confused by thinking that yesterday was just an ordinary May Bank Holiday. It was in fact one of three May Bank Holidays that will all be occuring in May. But by the time you reach the last one you might well have lost the will to live. Tuseday 2nd  Don't be fooled by The One Show and a host of other TV specials that today is the actual Coronation day. No its just time to decorate every inch of your house in festive flags, dust down commemorative mugs from other royal occasions, ponder about what Diana might have thought of it all and swear that you will never ever refer to Kermilla as 'the Queen' Wednesday 3rd  Still not Coronation day although it feels like it really should be. Your mind, body and soul will now be on the brink of either total royal fatigue or gettting your second wind t...

Yesterday morning I had a bit of an ecumenical adventure and finally lived up to my namesake by becoming a Baptist. No don't fear, (and would it be the Methodists fearful of leaving me or the Baptist dreadign I was coming?) I haven't made a denominational leap simply a guest appearance at one of the Baptist churches here in my local area.  Due to the process the Baptist church has to undertake to replace a minister (Methodists you don't know how lucky you are!)  who had been there as long as Adam, they have been struggling to find people to lead worship each week. And as I was able to wiggle a gap on the Methodist preaching plan I offered to go and help out. It's interesting going into a church you have only heard about, usually during our monthly get together of ministers,  but never actually visited. There's the usual mix of tension and excitement; how will they respond, will they know the hymns / songs, how long does their normal service last and of course will t...