2nd May Coronation Countdown commences


Are you confused about the countdown to the Coronation? Well confuse no longer because Grace Under Pressure brings you a right royal guide to everything kingly.

Monday 1st Don't get confused by thinking that yesterday was just an ordinary May Bank Holiday. It was in fact one of three May Bank Holidays that will all be occuring in May. But by the time you reach the last one you might well have lost the will to live.

Tuseday 2nd  Don't be fooled by The One Show and a host of other TV specials that today is the actual Coronation day. No its just time to decorate every inch of your house in festive flags, dust down commemorative mugs from other royal occasions, ponder about what Diana might have thought of it all and swear that you will never ever refer to Kermilla as 'the Queen'

Wednesday 3rd  Still not Coronation day although it feels like it really should be. Your mind, body and soul will now be on the brink of either total royal fatigue or gettting your second wind to see you through to Saturday. A commemorative tin of Duchy Royal shortbread biscuits might give you the energy to power on.

Thursday 4th  No, today is still not the Coronation, but Coronation Commemoration Day in which we remember the previous coronation of Queen Elizabeth. Spend the day becoming glassy eyed with an elderly relative who will recall minute by minute what happened back in 1953 even though they can't remember what happened yesterday. Watch every single piece of footage available on Youtube.

Friday 5th  Almost there but not quite. The BBC abandons all other TV programs as Hugh Edwards prepares for his ultra marathon coverage. The government will send out secret encoded messages by G4 and G5 to ensure mandatory thinking about the King. Those with only G3 will still be able to wonder if Nonce Andrew and Harry will somehow steal the show. Practice whichever swear word you are going to use tomorrow as an oath.

Saturday 6th Today is the day. After months of waiting and an endless build up during the past week the moment is finally here. You are up at sparrows fart to watch the preperations for the preperations for the preperations for the actual event. Settle down in your armchiair, with enough supplies of crisps and Carling to ensure you don't have to move for the next 12 hours. You ready yourself to be filled and overwhelmed by the sight of your magestic Majesty being crowned. It is the highlight of your life. You take a selfie in front of the TV as evidence.

Sunday 7th   Still on a high from yesterday's events you continue to ride the wave of euphoria for the Coronation concert where a host of people from Tom Cruise to Padington Bear will all entertain the zombied masses. Meanwhile in California, publicity shy Meghan almost breaks the internet by upoading a gazilion pictures of Archie's 4th birthday party.

Monday 8th  Thank God a day off. But no your neighbours from hell have organised the street party from hell so you are forced to show some community spirit.  You switch on the TV to discover the government has pushed through all sorts of legislation in the past week when no one was looking. You wonder why President Macron didn't do the same thing in France wih his pension reforms. Then you remember Kings are not quite as popular in France.

Tuesday 9th  The coronation is history and life must go on. You start to channel your inner Rylan and gear up for Eurovision!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6th May Olbia

Image
  A chance to stretch our legs today with our first port of call; Olbia, Sardinia. And it was a quick stretch too due to it being only a five hour stay. Up bright and early, so early in fact that the hot food at the buffet wasn't even ready to be served. Still it gave us a chance to watch the ship glide into port past a host of oyster/mussel beds, before performing a 180 degree turn to reverse into it's berth. A couple of short bus rides later and we were in downtown Olbia. But there an hour or so before anything appeared to open, the disadvantage of being early birds and something we don't seem to learn! Not that Olbia had a great deal to see or maybe if we had done the slightest bit of planning beforehand there might have benn but we didn't. It was pleasant enough but that's about it. It was pleasant enough but nothing special, indeed we were back on the ship after just a couple of hours ashore and then managed to sleep away most of th...
Read more

7th May Naples

Image
 I'm sure I've heard the phrase 'see Naples and die' suggesting that it is perhaps not the nicest location in the Mediterranean but if it's good enough for Diego Maradona fir a few years then it's good enough for me for 10 hours. Although the millions of tax free pounds he was paid might have eased his stay. By the time we got up, washed, dressed and up to The Kitchens, the rest of the ship were already there. Compared to the Marie Celeste of yesterday it was absolutely packed, presumably with people having breakfast before heading out on 8am excursions, our excursion was simply going to be the city of Naples itself as possible trips to Vesuvius, Pompei or the Amalfi coast would have been too much / tired.  So on a day when the weather initially seemed uncertain, we jumped aboard route A for the Hop on Hop off bus and headed out into the mayhem that is the Napoli traffic where it was every van, car and scooter for the selves. I think it's bes...
Read more