23rd May Raab gets himself ready for the sofa


In a move that will perhaps surprise many, Dominic Raab has emerged as the front runner to replace Phillip Schofield on the Good Morning sofa. Following the shock 'was he pushed or did he jump' resignation of Schofield last week, ITV bosses have fixed their sights on someone who would be able to settle on the sofa succcesfully.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure   Good Morning floor manager, Nuther Shitshow, revealed " Dominic is just perfect for the role. He's spent years talking bollocks live on air and looking down on people as if he trodden in something. He's not gay but he could very well be sometime in the future, maybe with Rylan or someone much much younger who works on the show. He would be the cock between the two mother hens of Holly and Alison." 

"And his people skills well I hear they are up there with Phil's, and having been an MP there must be loads of skeletons in the closet, waiting to be splashed all over the tabloids. We already hear that Eamon Holmes isn't too keen on him so we're off to a winning start."

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