Grace Under Pressure 2

Imagine a scenario where an electronic chip implanted in your amygdalla, the part of your brain responsible for aggresison, was able to detect any thoughts an individial might have of contemplating doing great harm and even mudering another individual before the event actually takes place.  Imagine signals from that device being automatically sent to a Pre-Crime policing unit dedicated to apprehending, detaining and punishing those individuals before they have the opportunity to commit such an offence. And by doing so violent crime and murder would be eliminated from our streets.  Children would be able to play out, women would be able to walk home alone at night and the world would be a much, much safer place. Sounds a great idea doesn't it? One that surely everyone would one to see implemented and implanted wouldn't they? That is the premise behind Minority Report, originally a book by Philip Dick, then a film made by Stephen Spielberg featurign Tom Cruise and now a new sta...

Sometimes these post come about in the most unusual way. Today whilst searching amongst a stack of CD's for something that I hoped I still had ( it turns out I didnt') I came across something that stirred a memory somewhere in the far recesses of my memory. A founding member of Whiskeytown alongside the often brilliant but occasionaly troubled Ryan Adams, Caitlin Cary is a name I am pretty sure none of you will have heard of. And to be honest I don't own any of her albums, well not until 5 mins ago when a simple click of a button made me the proud owner of 'While you weren't looking' solo album.  But I did have the odd track of hers burned onto a CD i must have recored years ago. Released way back in 2002 this little gem is called Fireworks. Hope it lights up your day.  

In the most exciting thing to happen in Devon since someone decided to put cream on a scone before the jam, Plymouth resident Natallie Jary was today reconsidering whether she was wise taking up Charlie Dimmock and her Garden Rescue teams challenge to give her a really 'bangin' garden makeover. Speaking to Grace Under pressure Natallie revealed, "I never thought we'd have this problem with Charlie when she said the completed job would be an explosion of colour. I mean you just trust Charlie don't you. Not like that Alan Titchmarsh after reading all those smutty books he written, several times in fact. There all full of fumblings in the fusias, rutting in the rhodedendrons and f%$£&g in the forget me knots. That man think he is just the bomb. Well let me tell you, he certainly isn't."

   Sir Lindsay Hoyle is not much of a rival as a smart speaker

On Thursday night TOM and I had a little trip to the theatre down in Leiecester. Not our usual choice of venue but it seemed a good oppertunity to go and see a show at what I certainly thought was the 'newish' Curve Theatre. So imagine my surprise to discover that it had in fact been open since December 2008. We will be down here again in a couple of weeks time to see Life of Pi in the main theatre whereas this time we a chance to explore the smaller studio venue which was hosting the premier of a new stage version of 'My Beautiful Launderette'.  What neither of us knew until I had looked at a review was that this performance featured the return of Gordon Warnecke, who played the original Omar back in the 1985 film version, this time in the role of Papa. It also appeared that we were sat just behind a relative of another cast member judging by the number of times we saw his picture illuminate the darkness on her screen saver ,as she didn't appear able to turn her ph...

In an exclusive Grace Under Pressure can reveal that Ministry of Defence bosses are still  'hopeful' that the United Kingdom will be able to defend its shores from attack providing that the target is very very very close to the submarine that will launch it. This follows the second episode of projectile dysunction when the navy failed to get it up, or at least not for very long. Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, MOD spokesperson, Major Cockup, revealed, "It is disappointing but analysis suggests it isn't anything physical but rather performance anxiety due to so many peolpe watching. And we all know how difficult it can be to perfom in those situations." "The multi billion pound Trident missile system remains an effective deterrent against any aggressors as long as the enemy is close enough for the sailors to be able to throw the trident missile." At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm that the Navy has launched an intens...

I try as best as I can to keep either Monday or preferably Wednesday night free in my diary. The reason being is that these are the two nights of the week that the local running clubs are out and about and it is nice to be able to run with other folks at least once a week. Mondays are out for the foreseeable future as I shall be hosting a study group for the next six weeks during Lent. So it looks as if its Wednesdays that should be my focus up until Easter. Tonight it was trail running night. Not as popular as the Monday pounding the hills of Ravenshead / street of Hucknall as a lot of the group don't seem to like the idea of running through the woods and bridle paths in the dark armed with only a headtorch for some reason. I on the other hand much prefer this more radical option. Firsly the pace is a little bit slower as folks navigate their way under low hanging branckes, skip around puddles / mud and generally take a bit more time deciding where to put their feet. Secondly, wel...

Yesterday I did something I haven't done in a long time and that was having an afternoon trip to the cinema. Settling down amongst the silver surfers, I realised that having turned 60 I was now actually one of the silver surfer's myself, although with a distinctly better ability to negotiate the stairs. And the reason for my trip, apart from the £5 price, was to watch 'The Holdovers', a film that had gained rave reviews and umpteen nominations. And despite a slow start it turned out to match the reviews, a meandering melancholy masterpiece, and we all know how much I love melancholy. Revolving around a trinity of characters, a cantankerous, unpopular teacher, a bright, abrasive student, the school’s head cook and a recently bereaved mother, who all find themselves forced to spend the winter holiday together in an otherwise empty New England elite academy I t was a film that made me laugh, made me ponder and brought a tear to my eye, with a certain bleakness that lay ...

Now that the worldwide press frenzy that followed Taylor Swift when she flew from Japan to the city of Las Vegas to watch her boyfriend Travis Kelce play in the Super Bowl has died down, the lenses of the paperazzi have turned to focus on another possible budding romance. After former Swift paramour Harry Styles was spotted sitting next to former footballer Mick Harford in the stands at Kenilworth Road, home to Luton Town football club, Grace Under Pressure might very well be the first to reveal the possible (b)romance between the two. Or to paraphrase the Joe Jackson hit from the 1980's...'is he really going out with him?' The two might seem an unlikely couple and yet the moment when Harford reached over to give Styles a Trebor Extra Strong mint just before kick off has been judged by Hatter's season ticket holder, Gizza Pass, to be the most romantic gesture that has even been seen on this ground, since he and his then girlfriend Branda conceived their first child behi...

In a bid to help fund his $355 million pound fine imposed by the state of New York, former President and soon to be cell mate Donald J Trump has announced he is to sell a new brand range of shoes. The red and gold coloured shoes will come in a variety of sizes from 3-14, which coincidentally matches the bigly intellegent mental age of most of the simpleton Republicans who will buy the $399 shoes.  Described as cobblers by cobblers, the new 'Sneaky' brand of shoes are able to produce imaginary bone spurs if required and contain a mid sole ego booster to help inflate the wearers sense of self importance and immunity from the laws of the land. They also issue the standard 'pharp, pharp' noise to alert people of their approach. Grace Under Pressure has managed to obtain a sneak preview of this 'Sneaky' footwear which will not be available in any good footwear store near you any time soon.  

Just how unlucky can one man be. That's the question that Vladimir Putin must be asking himself after yet another of his 'associates' suffered a tragic and unexplained death with news that  Alexei Navalny suffered a fatal incident whilsy just out for a walk. It is fate, circumstance, coincidence or is it just unlucky to be a 'friend' of Vladimir Putin? Alexander Litvinenko, a former buddy in the FSB security services died after accidentally ingesting some Polonium 210 that had mysteriosly made its way into a cup of tea in London in 2006. The journalist and pen pal Anna Politkovskaya found herself in the path of a stray bullet in her apartment building also in 2006 as did bridge partner Boris Nemstov in a 2015 episode of deja vu Sergei Skripal, a former Russian military intelligence officer, touched a doorknob that had unexpectedly been smeared with Novichok, whilst Boris Berezovsk, inadvertantly slipped and hanged in the bathroom of his Ascot home. Yevgeny Prigozhi...

Today I managed to organise myself so that I found myself caught up in an organised run without actually being part of that run. Confused, don't worry you soon will be. Every couple of month it appears that there is the opportunity to pay either £26 or £30 to run 10km or a half marathon around the undulating trails surrounding Carsington Water as part of an organised event. Or, as I have done half a dozen or so times, you can simply run the same distances free of charge on your own. So why not combine the two and run 7.2miles which is a complete lap of the reservoir on your own but at the same time at the same time as the organised race, therefore saving yourself a small fortune whilst having the company of other runners. Not starting off from the same point as either race, but timing my pace (LOL) so that I would run in the opposite direction to those starting the half marathon, before they doubled back and chased me down towards the start of the 10km run, meant I had company for ...

It should in theory be possible to do 30 mins of activity each day, noting that activity is not the same as 'exercise'  and does not require the wearing of skin tight lycra (although that is always an option).  So having become an avid disciple of 'Dr Michael Museli',and in a bid to lower my sugars, bad cholesterol and waistline I thought I would attempt said 'activity' regime during the six weeks of Lent to see what (if any) effect it has. This might involve some running, some static cycling, a walk over the fields, a bit of rowing, some skipping / mini trampolinig, lifting a few weights or getting to grips with the Ab Doer machine currently sitting in my living room.  Current research also suggest that sport is 90% mental and 10% physical so I'm also hoping that just thinking about sporting activity or even watching sport for 30 mins a day will also qualify. Now let's see how many calories watching a frame of snooker burns?

  When my student minister Nikki tries to draw one!!! Plenty to work on in the remaining few months.

  On Valentine's Day in memory of the man who played the nations love songs and was the soundtrack to so many lives.

  It is quite possibly many parents worst nightmare, the day their child comes home from school or college and announces that as from today they are self identifying as a Tory. Here in an exclusive for Grace Under Pressure, eminent psychologist,  Whatthef Uck, explains the possible way forward in a manner that is both calm and supportive even though ever fibre of your being is repulsed by the very thought. People who transition to Tory often claim that this is who they truly are and they feel happy in their new identity. Teenagers are often desperate for the approval of their peer, especially those given honours and places in the house of Lord simply for their sycophantic behaviour to previous or current Conservative govenments. Whilst the transitioning process might already have begun in the mind of the infected individual, drugs treaments will be available to remove any traces of a likeable personaily or concsience. Neuroliguistic programming is also available to ...

  This is so true...if it hasn't been recorded in the minutest details on a watch / smart device and then uploaded to the web, did you really run at all?

Ornithologists across the world are getting their feathers in a right old rustle in preparation for a once in a lifetime occurance ITV have been pushing relentlessly for the past month.  It is an event that is managing to attract the attention of some of the worlds biggest celebrities with Taylor Swift, a well respected twitcher, reported to be breaking her Japanese tour to fly in in a hope of catching a glimpse of the 'Superb Owl' that may or may not have featured in the Harry Potter films An annual event, this is in fact the 58th time that the migrating 'Superb Owl' has been seen, but only ever in the United States and perhaps surprisingly never before in Las Vegas.  Previous attendees have warned that the spectacular 'Superb Owl' will last for so long that a special 20 minutes entertainment break, with a singer unknown outside the USA trying to sing a verse from every song in their back catalogue.  At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable...

In breaking news scientists have revealed that Viagra might also have medicinal benefits for those suffering from Alzheimers.  So now not only can people suffering from degenerative neurological recollection issues get an boner that would put an 18 year old to shame, but they will now be able to remember what to do with it as well.  So for US President Joe Biden, whose memory recall has been subject to scrutiny this week, this promises not just to be an election year but also an erection year too. Go fill your boots Joe.

Is an extra £20,000 a year enough to entice you to attempt to try and fix the smiles of a waiting room full of Shane McGowan look a likies? That's the question staring dentists full in the face up, many of whom decided on this career path after seeing Laurence Olivier drill into Dustin Hoffman's teeth without aneasthetic in the film Marathon Man.  Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, aesthetic peridontal structural maintainance engineer (or dentist as they were called in the good old days), Veneer Crown, opened wide when he revealed "Aaaaagh God no. To be honest I would rather take on the monumental job of looking after Rylan or Rob Beckett's teeth rather than get an extra £20 big ones for peering into a cavity full of decaying stalagtites and stalagmites."  "Nothing gives me more job satisfaction and helps reaffirm my money generating vocation than doing something non essential and essentially just cosmetic to someone's perfectly fine teeth, rather than h...

In exclusive news that is sure to warm the cockles of everyone's hearts, Grace Under Pressure can reveal that the panic is over!  With his Papa currently convalesing and being looked after by half the NHS, his wife Catherine still on paid sick leave and being looked after by the other half of the NHS, his Aunty Anne single handedly dealing with Huthi rebels, his Uncle Andrew still persona not gratis and his younger brother 'Ginger' not trusted to have scissors, Prince William has heroically returned to the front line to cut all the ceremonial ribbons that need cutting up and down the land. Ardent royal watchers were apoplectic at the thought of a nation being bereft of ribbon cutters, cord pullers and sheet tuggers but good old Wills has shown just what kind of stuff he is made off by upping his game and going once more into the breach at this time of crisis.  At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm that Prince William has managed to build up...

Less than a week after agreeing they could finally work together after a two year hiatus in government, the NI Stormont Assembly has broken up again over a storm in a tea cup. In an attempt to further extend the olive branch of peace and to show that there were no hard feelings, deputy First Minister DUP's Emma Little-Pengelly, offered to make a welcoming cup of tea for her political rivals including  Sinn Féin's Michelle O'Neill, Northern Ireland's first nationalist First Minister during the early morning break in proceedings. Little did she know (or did she?) that everything was about to go up in a cloud of steam. Speaking in an exclusive to Grace Under Pressure, Sinn Fein member Millie Tant, shouted "What's this  Lapsang souchong shite!" spitting a mouthful of hot liquid out of her mouth. "It's weak as pissh and smells like the bottom of a whores handbag!.  Don't you know how to make proper tea? Nationalist tea!!" "Tea made he...

 

In news that is going to astound nobody, a group of men wearing council issued hi Viz jackets and tops have been mistaken by irrate motorists for a pot hole repair gang rather than a gathering of like minded individuals in their 30's and 40's who have assembled to practise mindfulness by the roadside. Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, motorist, Inna Rush, revealved, "It was an easy mistake but then I realised that the hi viz jackets and shirts worn by the men were very similar to the saffron coloured robes favoured by Tibetean Buddhist monks. And the more I sat looking at them standing in a little huddle motionless, then the bright yellow outfits began to infuse me with the same degree of inner calm and serenity that they appeared to possess." "And those little metallic silver strips reflecting back the sunlight from their statue like poses helped me reflect on life's transitary existance. Even if that existance would normally appear to resemble eternity as I...

Call me old fashioned if you like but I am one of those people who like physical copies of things that I own. You know DVD's, books and CD's in disc / paper form rather than as an electronic file stored on my smart device. I like to be able to see and touch them and reconnect with the momories they invoke. They also help fill up / decorate my house.  But in truth I probably own lots that I will never read, watch or listen to again. So one of the things I have decided to do with regards my music collection is to actually try to work out which things I like and should keep and which things I no longer like or perhaps never really liked in the first place except for maybe a singe track.  And the way I thought I'd do this is to slowly, and it will take time, work my way through all my CD's staring at all the 'As'  (beginning with Abba) and work my way through an alphabet of music to Z (ending withZZ Top) by having a different letter's worth of aural treats with ...

After a months holiday with very little to do on the detoxification front, apart from filter freshly brewed coffee and over stewed tea, regenerated livers up and down the land are already waving the white flag in surrender as the 1st weekend blowout of February looms large on the horizon. On the back of just being paid and with lost ground to make up, revellers up and down the land are going to hit the bars and clubs of the UK in a bid to reverse within 12 hours any restoration their little livers have managed to achieve in the past 31 days. Speaking in an exclusive to Grace Under Pressure, 48 yr old  Hucknall resident, Ilika Tipple, revealed, "I'm always up for these charity challenges like growing a mustache in November or not cutting my lawn in May but this dry January was a nightmare. I signed up thinking it was a challenge to try to avoid gettign wet in the rain not to give up booze for an entire month. But I did it and to celebrate I plan to to out tonight nd drink my bo...

Today I had the first of two sessions with DESMOND up at Mansfield Community hospital.Or perhaps that should be 'at' DESMOND, standing as it does for ' Diabetes Education and Self Management for Ongoing and Newly Diagnosed' This was the first course that I was able to attend and even though it falls on my day off, I wanted to try to get on top of this asap so it was worth the sacrifice.  It's aim is what it says on the tin, to enable people to self manage their condition by provide a whole range of education for those who have had the disease for a while (some people had been diagnosed over 13 years ago) and some who had only just discovered they had the big D (four of us found out at the start of the year) As such it was a mixed bunch, some of who had to give their entire medical history to answer a simple question, some of whom never seemed to have heard th question and some of whom volunteered an answer that was invariably wrong. Looking around me, if I am honest...