23rd February Projectile dysfunction

In an exclusive Grace Under Pressure can reveal that Ministry of Defence bosses are still  'hopeful' that the United Kingdom will be able to defend its shores from attack providing that the target is very very very close to the submarine that will launch it. This follows the second episode of projectile dysunction when the navy failed to get it up, or at least not for very long.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, MOD spokesperson, Major Cockup, revealed, "It is disappointing but analysis suggests it isn't anything physical but rather performance anxiety due to so many peolpe watching. And we all know how difficult it can be to perfom in those situations."

"The multi billion pound Trident missile system remains an effective deterrent against any aggressors as long as the enemy is close enough for the sailors to be able to throw the trident missile."

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm that the Navy has launched an intense recruitment drive for javelin throwers, former shot putters or retired American football quaterbacks to ensure the UK's defenses remain as potent as ever .


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