Grace Under Pressure 2

  Yesterday we had the launch of our free community meal organised in collaberation with FoodCycle. After months of preparation getting the venue and process up to scratch it was now the moment to see if all that hard work would pay off.  Set up to decrease food waste and also address lonlines and isolation within the community, I don't think anyone was sure how far we had been able to spread the message and what the response would be. I guess if you'll excuse the culinary pun, the proof was going to be in the pudding.  And I have to admit with 10 mins to go I wasn't sure if we were going to have a fallen soufle on our hands as the hordes I had anticipated turning up hadn't materialised. And the prospect that we would be eating the food that had been cooked for the rest of the week loomed large. Oh ye of little faith!! But by ten past one we had 20 people, including 13 not connected with the church, all tucking into a three delicious course meal of mixed vegetable soup,...

An almost 60 year old man from Hucknall has decided to postpone the revealing of his beach ready summer body in favour of a more developed  BBQ ready autumn body. Having heard that sporting perfection is 95% mental, Hucknall resident Simon Spade has spent 95% of his time thinking about doing some sort of physical exercise and the other 5% resting horizonal on his sun lounger in order to undergo this metamorphosis. The result of this dedication attempt at physical transformation is a body virtually identical to his pale and pasty winter body except one now displaying a distinct tinge of lobster red flakey skin Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, Simon Spade revealed that his plans to regenerate just like Dr Who were derailed by the summer of sport that he has watched whilst consuming calories rather than participated in whilst burning them. In fact Simon is as yet undecided whether to even bother with his autumn transformation his year and may decide just to keep his winter body all y...

Yesterday whilst driving to Chesterfield and in a moment of divine intervension that stopped me having to listen to yet another news bulletin, I suddenly found the car raido being switched over to Radio 3 and Classic Classics or whatever the program was called.  Not my normal choice of station I have to admit but as we drove this came on. Performed by The Camerata Quartet, who I had never heard of, this is the 2nd movement of How Strange The Change by Erik Griswold, again a piece of music and a composer I had never heard of. But I thought it was just lovely. So today on this sedate Saturday I thought I'd share the aura pleasure with you.

I was not quite sure what to make of it when chatting to one of my fellow runners he described the route I was about to attempt as 'lumpy'. Within 3 mins of starting the race I soon discovered that lumpy translated as uphill for the first one and a half miles. So uphill in fact that running was not an option. Welcome to the Stoney Middleton Fell Run. A mere 10 miles from Tom's and having done yesterdays alternative option, the Brassington Hill race a few years ago, I thought I'd go for something new. Arriving for the registration I did notice my nemesis Elizabeth warming up, needless to say that was about the last I saw of her as the race began with a lap of the football field and then out into the neighbouring countryside and that hill on an overcast and humid night. As I ran / power walked / walked round the course which did indeed prove to be very lumpy ie up and down, I did wonder if it was a proper fell race, with in my opinion, too much of it being run on country ...

With news overnight of the death of Irish singer Sinead O'Connor, TV and social media have been awash with clips of the singer, the vast majority of them showing clips of possibly the only song people will associate with her, the jaw dropping cover of the prince song, Nothing compares to you'. A song she recorded with a jaw dropping vocal and single shot video. So today I thought I'd upload something different to the rest, in tribute to someone who was certainly different to the rest. It is a song I have used on many occasions during reflective worship services. This is Sinead O'Connor and 'The Healing Room' I have a universe inside me Where I can go and spirit guides me There I can ask oh any question I get the answers if I listen

A wave of shock horror almost as large in size as that generated when it was revealed that Nigel Farage was not a particularly nice man by Coutts bank last week, has swept up and down the length of the UK after scientists revealed that wearing an outfit made entirely of black cloth has no effect on bathroom scales whatsoever. Down through the centuries many people have claimed that black, whilst being a sign of grief and the go to outfit for your local Goth, is a colour that makes people slim. Now this has been debunked by science as being simply a visual illusion and has no actuall effect on the amount of mass contained within that outfit Speaking on guarantee of anonymity, a 36 year old woman from Hucknall who we shall simply call, Kebab Karen, revealed, " I know people kept telling me that maybe I should cut down on the Greggs sausage rolls, the beer, the dougnuts, the crisp, the cakes and the pies and maybe take up a bit of exercise or calorie control." "But I a...

  With radiographers on strike for the next 48 hours, the NHS doesn't even have a skeleton staff on duty.

 In a Magic Roundabout style weather update Dougal reminds a world that might have forgotten just how hot Florence actually is!!!.

It is surely one of the most unexplainable mysteries of the modern world, one that 99.9% of the Grace Under Pressure audience cannot understand, the residents of Uxbridge and South Ruislip have actually been trusted to vote. Again. The alarm should have been raised back in 2016 when they elected Alexander Boris Cock Womble de Pfeffel Johnson to parliament.  Then 57.9 per cent of that the constituency was in favour of leaving the European Union.  As if that wasn't bad enough they re-elected BJ back to power having been given the benefit of the doubt by the Wokarati who claimed people when presented with actual factual evidence couldn't make the same mistake again. An administrative decision that appears to have backfired spectacularly. Now in a move that has confounded the great minds of both Barbie and Ken, the very same people who elected Boris Johnson, a man with more children than moral principles, have been given a fourth opportunity to get it right. Only they didn't...

It's been a pretty fab few weeks over at East Side Methodist Church. A month ago we launched our 'Tiny Toes' parent and baby group and for the first two sessions absolutly no-one turned up. Not a sausage, which was dscouraging to say the least. Was it the day, was it the time, was it the location who knows?  Then on week 3, half an hour into yet another session no one had attended, and just when we were considering packing it all in and relaunching in September, two mums and their little ones arrived. Three weeks letter thanks to word of mouth and the comments of the two mums on social media we now have 9 adults and 11 pairs of 'tiny toes' including several referals from the local children's centre which is great. Then yesterday we had the first session of our new free chair based exercise classes and 14 people put their best foot forward, raised their hand(s) and literally sat up straight. And with the two oldest participants being 91 years of age my Mr Motivat...

McDonald's manager explains, "I thought you said show trainee the gropes" Djokavic fails in bid to escape from Alcaraz Charity begins at home confirm Captain Tom's family Putin goes against the grain BBC presenters start notmeeither# campaign  Coutts crowdfunding campaign for Farage reaches £1.20 Suella Braveman: The face that luanches a 1000 barges Sheep farm targeted by ram raiders Screenwriters unable to write their demands until they are met Airport drop off fees now exceed price of flight Hopeful teens shower ITV presenters with explicit images in hope of £35,000      

Rain drenched residents of a sleepy Nottinghamshire town were waiting with gritted teeth today to hear about how other parts of the world are getting considerably more sunshine than they are this summer. With peak day time temperatures barely reaching 15 degrees and the sky a biblical black, despite the crippling costs the thought of turning the heating on has some appeal. Hucknall resident Gizza Sweater spoke to Grace Under Pressure and revealed, "I know we left the EU with Brexit and all that but I didn't think they could keep all the nice weather too. That's just so unfair. I don't remember Boris saying 'owt 'bout that on the side of a bloody big bus. "Still I've got a cunning plan. I'm gonna fly me, the missis and our six kids over to the Costa Packet wi' no luggage at all. We'll sit round the pool all day drinking 2 litre bottles of fizzy pop and cider, then fill the empty bottles up with hot air and just bring it back home wi us ready...

In the biggest education reshuffle since O levels gained extra letters and became GCSE's, Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has announced that the government will be putting pressure on universities to stop offering degrees in Mickey Mouse subjects. In order for the UK to be a superpower on the world stage akin to let's say Bostwana or one of those central American countries you're never quite sure where they are on a map, Sunak has already revealed that everyone in the UK will be forced to study mathematics until they are at least 40.  So within a couple of decades, with everyone able to solve complex quadratic equations and anaylse algebraic algorythms in their sleep, there will be no need for Micky Mouse courses that deal in emotions, feelings and other ethereal and unmearsurable things.     Thats' what we've got AI for. Govenment spokesperson, Ivor Tutu, revealed, "Let's stop people wasting time having dreams and visions that are totally unrealistic unlike th...

  I just couldn't resist. Can't wait for the next coffee mornign at the manse!!

    Or at least a rest from doing this blog. Nothing much happened at all

No it isn't what you feared. I haven't joined the increasingly growing list of people who have become the latest victims of WOKE cancel culture after having said, done or even thought something that the politically correct police deemed politically incorrect.  Rather I have just discovered after a chance checking of my e mails that the Crich monument race that I was due to take part in this afternoon as been cancelled due to danger from falling branches, lightening strikes and flying gazeebos!! Run as part of the annual village fete, the weather forcast has been deemed too unpredictable to allow for the safe running of either the race or the fete itself. This is the second time in two years that I have been unable to do this local event, last year I had to pull out  because I managed to catch Covid the week before.  So the chance to see if I could better (or even get close to) my 2019 time will have to wait for another year. Some say today's cancellation wasdivine interv...

 Not me!!!! After almost blanket coverage on all media platforms for the last 72 hours, not a single mention on the tellie tonight. Maybe it's all been buried where The Sun don't shine?

  It's me....

Known as an all out rocker that normally has thousands of people bouncing along with a mix of anger, frustration and passion, Sam Fender's most famous song has lyrics that go straight to the heart of the desperation many teenagers feel today, trapped in a downward spiral of drink, drugs and dead end lives.  This wonderful acoustic version sung by Fender and fellow North East songwriter, Holly Humberstone, throws an added layer of poignancy into the mix, that just tugs at the heart strings. The song chronicles Fender's life at 17 when his mother, Shirley was afflicted with firbomyalgia and became depressed because she could no longer work after 40 years of service as a nurse. Having become the owner of her apartment at 19 and having never missed a day at work, the Department for Work and Pensions (the DWP mentioned in the song) began harassing he r with letters and treating her unjustly.  Fender recalls: "That's when my rose-tinted glasses fell off." The song is a ...

Today like many in the UK, Grace Under Pressure is struggling to work out just how The Sun newspaper is somehow managing to maintain the moral high ground after breaking the story of a male presenter paying a 17 year for erotic pictures when it did exactly the same for innumerable years to a 16 year old and then proceeded to sell said images for huge profit. In 1983, Sam Fox was only 16 when she first featured topless in the paper with the headline 'Sam, 16, Quits A-Levels for Ooh-Levels' . Now suddenly finding itself channeling the very spirit of Mary Whithouse, the champion of everything straight laced and holy, The Sun newspaper has discovered that what it, and it's readership, once found easy on the eye, is now absolutely terrible. But great for sales figures. In highlighting these apparent double standards, one that suggest the Sun might be suffering a case of poor 'mammary', Grace Under Pressure will remain vigilant in keeping it's readers a breast of th...

In a world exclusive Grace Under Pressure can reveal that the BBC has just announced details of its new flagship program for the summer...'The Masked Presenter'.  Here is a sneak preview of the line up from the 1st episode. Can you work out the identify of the person hiding behind the mask before the press do? Coming soon...just like the masked presenter I shouldn't wonder!!

The in box of the head of BBC program scheduling has been inundated over the past 24 hours with male presenters not due to appear on our screens anytime soon now desperate to be seen in our living rooms. As the nation joins in the 'Name the Nonce' competition, with accusing fingers being aimed in various directions, male presenters are now desperate to appear on our screens to deflect any possible attention away from themselves, as Aunty has declared the man under suspicion will not be appearing in our screens anytime soon.  In a case of 'I am not Spartacus' a host of presenters have already taken to twitter to declare they don't fritter away tens of thousands of pounds trying to get pictures of teenage boys when they can do that for free on the internet. At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is hoping to offer therapy to the millions of people who are now unable to remove the thought from their minds that but for the grace of God  it could have been th...

Less than 24 hours after hinting that he may no longer have the motivation to return agian to Wimbledon next year, in an amazing about turn Andy Murray has revealed that he has indeed resdicovered his mojo after a heart to heart with his mum Judy Speaking in an exclusive interview that was almost called out by the editorial standards acommitte, Grace Under Pressure asked a visibly emotional Murray if Judy had pointed out Stephanos Tsistipas' higher current ranking or sugested he might have done some things differently in the match, refocus on apsects of his game, improve his fitness and just give it another year?" "Yeah," replied Murray, " Mum said all of those things. But the main reason she was absolutely insistant I had to carry on was that she wasn't ready to give up all those free trips all round the world. And more importantly there was just no f%$&*"g way she was going to start camping out overnight with the plebs to try to get tickets for ce...

Dopamine addicts around the world all signed up yesterday to the world's newest way to receive that sense of instant gratification.  With the launch of Threads, the social media plaform that is very, very, very, very similar to Twitter but is not Twitter, 30 million saddos signed up to get that short sharp instant chemical surge their brain releases evertime another saddo likes the picture of the latest plate of food they have uploaded into cyberspace on inane comment they have made about a C list celebrity.  In a series of tedious tweets of no more than 280 characters, Twitter tyrant Elon Musk threatened to throw all his play things out of his pram by claiming that arch nemesis Meta megamind Mark Zuckerberg had copyed his favourite toy. Zuckerberg who has been accused of stealing the technology from disgruntled former Twitter empolyees,  replied via a 500 character thread, that demonstrated how his new platform would be far more 'friendly' by simply answering, 'Nah, na...

Last year's beaten Men's singles finalist Nick Kyrgios has had to pull out at the last minute of this year's Wimbledon tournament having suffered a sudden wrist injury. Having had to miss a large part of the season with a troublesome knee and having exhausted the entire back catalogue of Netflix, Kyrgios found himself with lots of time on his hands. And then something in his hand. Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, Kyrios explained, "I know that lots of people think I am a complete w&%$£r and that sometime I behave like a complete w&%$£r, on and off court. I have even managed to sound like a total w&%$£r on occasions during my post match press conferences and interviews. But to be honest I don't think I am actually more of a w&%$£r than any other man." "A little self love is always great for my well being but what started off as a quick back and forth turned into a marathon exchange. And even with my forearm strength from playing tennis sin...

  At the end of each day during his attempt to complete 100 laps around his garden and raise millions of pounds for charity, Sir Captain Tom Moore's only relief from the aches and pains was a quick rub down with a dollop of Ralgex.  It's a pity he didn't have access to something a bit more luxurious to ease his tired muscles. Something a bit like the swimming pool & spa his daughter and son in law have alledgedly built at their home with some of the £32 million pounds raised, having submitted a planning application to build an office for his charity Poor Captain Tom, he would probably be turning over in his grave at the very idea, if he wasn't so bloody stiff and sore.

In scenes never witnessed amongst the Pimm's swilling toffs in the Long Room at Lord's, accusations of foul play have been hurled at the Australian cricket team following their victory in the 2nd test match. Speaking in an exclusive and barely factual interview with Grace Under Pressure, MCC member, Stu Mped, ranted, "I know I'll just be accused of being a sorry loser but it's just not cricket. Or certainly not cricket as we know it when we are beating all the pretty rubbish teams in the world."  "It's not sour grapes either and has nothing to do with them scoring more runs, taking more wickets, holding more catches, or being the victims of a dubious run out decision.  Oh no, it's all due to a blatent breach of the international rules of cricket by the fact that Australia were able to field a Lion in their team." By now four sheets to the wind, Stu Mped, continued, "It's hard enough facing a pace attack hurling missiles at you at ove...

An ultra competative dad from Hucknall has today commenced the first stage in his preperations for his son to triumph in this years school egg and spoon race.  Determined to win at all costs, with the annual fun sports day now just four weeks away, Barry Brewster was seen in his local park at 6am this morning with his still half asleep son Jake in tow. After such a poor show in last year event when 6 year old Jake dropped the egg so many times it resembled an omlette by the time he crossed the line, a result that had Barry seriously considering having him put up for adoption, the 2023 training program is taking no chances on a repeat performance this year. Speaking to Grace Under Pressures very own hard boiled scribe Barry explained, "If parents can pull kids out of school to go on holidays in term time, then I can pull my son out to get ready for the egg and spoon race. I mean what is he going to miss in a months worth of schooling? I'm more than happy to pay the fine if it m...

In breaking news Grace Under Pressure can reveal that the UK will not have to wait for 15 years in order to see staff numbers up to reasonable levels after Rishi Sunak and his government played their joker card in order to fast forward his  bedside assistance program.  Given that it will take at least five possibly four years to train a doctor, Rishi Sunak plans to bring back to the NHS doctors who are currently working in the private sector. An almost priapic Health Secretary Steve  Barclay spoke almost truthfully to Grace Under Pressure's very own uhealthy reporter when he  revealed,"It just made sense really to bring back doctors with years and years of experience into the NHS to help this current crisis which seems to have started and remained for the last 13 years."  "Amongst those coming to the aid of our over run emergency departments and mile long waiting lists will be Dr Who, Dr Dre, Dr Dolittle, Dr Findlay,  Dr Gregory House, Dr Frasier Crane, and...