4th July Just a bunch of animals


In scenes never witnessed amongst the Pimm's swilling toffs in the Long Room at Lord's, accusations of foul play have been hurled at the Australian cricket team following their victory in the 2nd test match.

Speaking in an exclusive and barely factual interview with Grace Under Pressure, MCC member, Stu Mped, ranted, "I know I'll just be accused of being a sorry loser but it's just not cricket. Or certainly not cricket as we know it when we are beating all the pretty rubbish teams in the world." 

"It's not sour grapes either and has nothing to do with them scoring more runs, taking more wickets, holding more catches, or being the victims of a dubious run out decision.  Oh no, it's all due to a blatent breach of the international rules of cricket by the fact that Australia were able to field a Lion in their team."

By now four sheets to the wind, Stu Mped, continued, "It's hard enough facing a pace attack hurling missiles at you at over 90mph, but going out to bat knowing that there is a Lion out there on the pitch is quite another matter. All of the English team's batters attention was fixed on trying to work out exactly where the Lion was."

"I know we had a 'Pope' on our side but if I'm honest it sometimes seems as if God is just a bit too busy to actually help us out when we need him most. Perhaps he'll turn up on Thursday in Leeds, after all they do claim (wrongly as it turns out) that it's his own county!"


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