18th July Mickey kicked off campus

In the biggest education reshuffle since O levels gained extra letters and became GCSE's, Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has announced that the government will be putting pressure on universities to stop offering degrees in Mickey Mouse subjects.

In order for the UK to be a superpower on the world stage akin to let's say Bostwana or one of those central American countries you're never quite sure where they are on a map, Sunak has already revealed that everyone in the UK will be forced to study mathematics until they are at least 40. 

So within a couple of decades, with everyone able to solve complex quadratic equations and anaylse algebraic algorythms in their sleep, there will be no need for Micky Mouse courses that deal in emotions, feelings and other ethereal and unmearsurable things.     Thats' what we've got AI for.

Govenment spokesperson, Ivor Tutu, revealed, "Let's stop people wasting time having dreams and visions that are totally unrealistic unlike the Conservative governments five policy aims which are Blame someone else, Deflet the attention, Bury our heads, Cruel to migrants and last but not least Get Rishi photographed with a real Prime Minister like Volodymyr Zelenskyy as often as it's possible. 

"Not all Mickey Mouse courses will be scrapped. History of Art for example will be continued, even though no one really understands what it is or why it should be studied. This is to ensure junior royals like George, Charllotte and little Lois will still be able to go to university without having to study a proper subject."

“And of course Philosophy, Politics and Economics will also remain. That subject has been studied by Matt Hancock, Liz Truss, Jeremy Hunt and Rishi Sunak and look at the good they have all done for the country. It even helped Ed Balls on Strictly...gangnam style!!"

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