30th July Not quite ready


An almost 60 year old man from Hucknall has decided to postpone the revealing of his beach ready summer body in favour of a more developed  BBQ ready autumn body.

Having heard that sporting perfection is 95% mental, Hucknall resident Simon Spade has spent 95% of his time thinking about doing some sort of physical exercise and the other 5% resting horizonal on his sun lounger in order to undergo this metamorphosis. The result of this dedication attempt at physical transformation is a body virtually identical to his pale and pasty winter body except one now displaying a distinct tinge of lobster red flakey skin

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, Simon Spade revealed that his plans to regenerate just like Dr Who were derailed by the summer of sport that he has watched whilst consuming calories rather than participated in whilst burning them. In fact Simon is as yet undecided whether to even bother with his autumn transformation his year and may decide just to keep his winter body all year round. After all does anyone really want to see those man boobs this year or any year to be honest?



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