Grace Under Pressure 2

    After years on unimaginable pain and suffering, during which time there were occasions he simply didn't wish to continue living,  28 year old Brian Barnett is relieved that he can now get much needed help after MP's voted in favour of the bill on assisted dying.

  In an unauthenticated and possibly fact free and totally imaginary exclusive that will bring many people to the boil, Grace Under Pressure can today reveal an audio conscript of a conversation filmed in the Masterchef kitchen "Oh my sausage, it's such a big meaty sausage. It will give you a really good stuffing. It's moist and the juices are already running. I can give you toad in the hole or if you'd prefer boning the meat and pulling my pork then I'll definitely ice your baps with my special cream infusion. Unless you'd like me to butter your muffin and leave you with a soggy bottom?" At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm if this is just boys baking banter or is culinary questionable but I guess the proof of the pudding will be in the eating. .

  Last night was another run close to home with the Hucknall Harriers. With the Baslow Bolt looming at the weekend and doubts about my left calf / knee still lingering I thought it better to stay close and reduce the distance.  On Monday night I had a very sedate 3 mile jaunt with Bill, one of my Ravenshead Runner friends round the streets of Hucknall and that didn't seem to flare things up. So last night, a night where one pair of gloves was certainly not enough to keep my thumbs warm, the plan was to run the 'shorter route' once again.  But we all know what happens to plans. Especially when three different groups all head off in the same direction and then split off on different routes after a km or so. Needless to say I didn't spilt off into the right group and so ended up finding myself in the middle of the 'medium' route group.  Now in reality there isn't too much difference between 3 and 4.6 miles as we did a kind of loop down Wigwam lane, round the bo...

    In breaking news Grace Under Pressure can officially confirm that celebrations are getting exponentially smaller each year. This is not referring to celebration type celebrations but rather to the size of a tub of said named confectionary. A trip down Memory lane by chocolate admirer, Kit Cat, has confirmed that the size and contents of a 2024 tub of Celebrations are indeed a piss poor parody of what was a verifiable chocolate blow out back in the early 2000's.  Now an whole tub is hardly enough to hit that magical bliss point that food scientists crave to generate the need for 'just one more' in our p osterior cingulate cortex Speaking in an exclusive virtually true interview, Kit Cat revealed, "Back in the good old days the mere sight of a tub of celebrations sat on the supermarket shelf used to trigger a vertable tsunami of endorphins, serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin that flooded the brain with goodtimeness. Nowadays such is the miniscule size of a tub thats e...

The worst job I ever had was rating soft drinks according to the amount of fizziness they contained. It was soda grading.

  It's not often, or indeed ever, that I would celebrate an explosion at church but this one is deserving of a mention. Today we had an explosion of people at the Tiny Toes baby and Toddler group that we have been trying to get up and runnign for the past, oh I don't know 15 months.  We have tried in in a variety of locations and to include a variety of ages but with limited success. Five weeks ago we moved it across to a different church in Hucknall and expanded the age range from its previous limit of 18 months up to 3 years. And then for the next month we sat there rather frustrated that only three or four parent / little ones came each week but it seemed it was a different 3 or 4 each week.  Today, for whatever reason, possibly word of mouth, we had 11 parents and 12 pairs of Tiny Toes all arrive at the same time. And it was fabulous. All the little ones enjoyed playing together and all the mums (no Dad's sadly) all enjoyed a good natter with friends and the chance to...

  In breaking news that is virtually fact free and devoid of any authentication at all, Grace Under Pressure  can today reveal other 'claims' that have appeared in Chancellor Rachel Reeves' ridiculous resume. According to the copy that has been seen or maybe imagined by Grace Under Presure, Rachel Reeves graduated from Hogwarts University with a second-class degree in PPE, which would have been a really useful qualifiation to have during the Covid pandemic, as opposed to Matt Hancok who just possessed an MA in BS.  According to her CV Reeves then worked in the city of London where she invented money, trade and all forms of commerce before realising that her talents lay eleswhere. Winning the Miss World competition for five consecutive years, Rachel Reeves is the highest goalscorer for England at Football and has won more gold medals that Chris Hoy, Steve Redgrave and Sarah Storey together.  Her achievements as the first women to walk on the moon, climb Mt Everest in ...

    For 99.9% of my life I can get by perfectly well without owning or should that be using a mobile / smart phone. I don't miss using one and am quite happy not to have my hand moulded in that ubiquitous shape as its clutches onto its 'life support' machine. And then there is the 0.01% of my life when I realise that I am living in another world to the rest of the general population. An example of which is trying to join What's Upp so that I can keep in touch with one of my running groups. Quite why we have to communicate in this way I don't really know but it appears we do.  Now I know for most tech savvy folks that would literally be as easy as clicking a button, inputting a password made up of numbers and letter or scanning a QR code but when those things don't ever crop up in your day life well things aren't quite that simple.  Between us TOM and I are less technologcal than an average 6 year old and so despite being able to download the software app we ...

 

  With tickets for Glasonbury 2025 selling out in a mere 30 minutes organisers are slapping themselves on the back after their new ticket allocation system appears to have been a great success. Unless you are over 35 that is. Unlike the fiasco which occured when people attempted to get their hands on the Willi Wonka golden tickets for the Gallagher brothers reunion when websites crashed as people attempted to enter virtual queues, the Eavis family used a very different approach. Jumping on the back ot the Captcha identity system which many people are familiar with as a means of identifying potential purchasers as human rather than automated bots, this years Glastonbury required potential ticket buyers to actually identfy artists who may or may not appear at the festival from a line up of equally vague and vacuous looking individuals. Ivan Album, a 60 year old granddad of three from Hucknall, who admits to liking a bit of old Dire Straits, some 1970's Genesis and a couple of songs ...

  In a world exclusive Grace Under Pressure todays throws off its tag of being ring rusty and not packing a real punch by revealing just who Jake Paul's next opponent in the ring will be. Despite being called out by Tony Bellew, Carl The Cobra' Froch and Artur Betebiev amongst others, Jake 'the Fake' Paul has picked another option. Speaking after his dull as ditch water points win over an inertia ridden 58-year-old Mike Tyson,  Netflix and Youtube favourite Jake Paul, has revelaed that his plan over the next few years is to fight all of the heavyweight greats. Providing they are over 60 years old and unable to punch their way out of a paper bag. Starting with those still able to live independently, Jake Paul will then move on to those living in shelted accomodation, care homes and nursing facilities. Then using the latest technology he will step into the ring with AI generated holograms of previous fighters or where image protection rights prevent that happening, he wil...

Why is there 'never enough' snow to cancel the staff meeting on zoom?

  So what do ministers do at 5am on what is possibly the coldest day of the autumn so far? Well the answer is they don't hang about. Instead they put the finishing touches to the last three of half a dozen 'Christmas trees' made from children's plastic coathangers that will be displayed in my churches from the start of Advent.