27th November Celebrations continue to get smaller

 2 for £8 Chocolate Tubs: Roses, Heroes, Celebrations & Quality Street at Morrisons | hotukdeals 

In breaking news Grace Under Pressure can officially confirm that celebrations are getting exponentially smaller each year. This is not referring to celebration type celebrations but rather to the size of a tub of said named confectionary.

A trip down Memory lane by chocolate admirer, Kit Cat, has confirmed that the size and contents of a 2024 tub of Celebrations are indeed a piss poor parody of what was a verifiable chocolate blow out back in the early 2000's. 

Now an whole tub is hardly enough to hit that magical bliss point that food scientists crave to generate the need for 'just one more' in our posterior cingulate cortex

Speaking in an exclusive virtually true interview, Kit Cat revealed, "Back in the good old days the mere sight of a tub of celebrations sat on the supermarket shelf used to trigger a vertable tsunami of endorphins, serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin that flooded the brain with goodtimeness. Nowadays such is the miniscule size of a tub thats entire consumption of these choccy treats caused barely a single vesicle of chemicals to be released."

"I thought at first that maybe the dimensions of supermarket shelves had changed or that my hands had undergone a sudden growth spurt but then realised the tub was actually a victim of shrinkflation."

Scientists have predicted that the current rate of shrinkage, which is happening quicker than the polar ice caps combined, will mean that by 2035 an entire 'tub' of Celebrations will easily fit in the pocket of a pair of trousers. And that will be nothing to celebrate at all.


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