24th November Rachel Reeves' ridiculous resume riciduled
In breaking news that is virtually fact free and devoid of any authentication at all, Grace Under Pressure can today reveal other 'claims' that have appeared in Chancellor Rachel Reeves' ridiculous resume.
According to the copy that has been seen or maybe imagined by Grace Under Presure, Rachel Reeves graduated from Hogwarts University with a second-class degree in PPE, which would have been a really useful qualifiation to have during the Covid pandemic, as opposed to Matt Hancok who just possessed an MA in BS.
According to her CV Reeves then worked in the city of London where she invented money, trade and all forms of commerce before realising that her talents lay eleswhere. Winning the Miss World competition for five consecutive years, Rachel Reeves is the highest goalscorer for England at Football and has won more gold medals that Chris Hoy, Steve Redgrave and Sarah Storey together.
Her achievements as the first women to walk on the moon, climb Mt Everest in flip flops and understand the ending to the TV series 'Lost' but a mere footnotes in a glittering career which is now manifesting itself as a maniacal Robin Hood type figure who robs not just from the rich, the confortable and the downright poor. Outside of work her hobbies include non motivational speaking and driving farms and small businesses towards bancrupcy.
At the time of going to press Garce Under Pressure understands that Rachel Reeves' resume has not only been nominated for, but is odds on favourite to win, the Booker prize for fiction.
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