20th May Up the Arse!!!

 

With the prospect of Arsenal winning the Premier League now a reality, the rest of the footballing world is bracing itself for Arsenal fans to become even more unbearable that they usually are, if they actually succeed in winning the double by managing to bore opponents PSG to death in the final of the Champions League on Sat 30th May.

As the football season reaches its (anti) climax, 'the Arse' find themseves in pole position to win not just one but possibly two major footballing trophies for the first time in years. As such its supporters are now wandering around north London with sanctimonious smiles splattered all over their smug faces most people would only sport if they had won the lottery, be dating a super model or been the victim of a particularly bad Botox encounter 

The result has left Arsenal in pole position heading into the final stretch of the season, prompting supporters to adopt the sort of serene, all knowing smiles that actually say “I told you so” without actually saying it.

Arsenal’s final position at the top of the league has reignited their long-standing belief that football should be aesthetically un pleasing, morally upinspiring, and involve a wide variety of wrestling holds and ju jitsu throws whenever taking or defending a corner kick.