11th March One rule for one


It used to be that the only way to be really crap at your job, get sacked and then receive a mahoosive payout for being so shit was to be a football manager. Now it appears politicians have joined the club with news that Peter 'Valdemort' Mandelson was awarded £75,000 for allegedly lying and possibly breaking the law.

Speaking in an exclusive to Grace Under Pressure, Asda shelf stacker, Itsa Bargin, pondered, "I wonder if the same rules would apply to me. What would happen if I said I didn't really know Gary who works for rival firm Tesco and certainly hadn't passed on any details of our BOGOF offers. Or claimed that I was working in the warehouse when really I was snogging the face off Dawn from the Deli section in the staff toilets. And then it was found out I'd been tellign porky pies."

"Do you think I'd get a huge wad of cash to fuck off and then find a job at Lidl the very nexy day. I don't think so mate."

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