1st January Confused.com

 


In breaking news Grace Under Pressure can be the first vitually true on line website to officially declare that today is either Tuesday, Friday or Saturday.

Having worked his was diligently through an entire tub of Quality Street whilst waiting for the bongs from Big Ben, Hucknall resident Clive Curmudgeon, revealed, "My guess is Friday,” but nothing in life is certain under this labour government. I normally work it all out based on my bin colllection but thats just gone mental." 

"A few months ago it used to be on a Tuesday, then for some unknown reason Ashfield Council moved it to a Thursday. Christmas week it moved forward a day and now this week I think its moved a day backwards, but with no indication whether its green or red bin so I've put them all out just to be sure. I know I voted for change but this is ridiculous."

"If that fails that I can normally calculate it from the TV, knowing that if Eastenders is not on then it must be the weekend. But recently it just seems that its 24/7 Romesh Ranganathan. Either that or something to do with the Traitors. And I seen bits of the Snowman so many times over the past few days I start to hallucinate whenever I hear Aled Jones sing"  

“I can't even work it out from other parts of the world because according to the news Australia is now existing 12 hours in the future whilst America keeps slipping further and further into the past the more west you go, so thats no help. I can only hope the rest of 2026 isn't as confusing" 

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