7th November Will the real Alan Carr please stand up


So having managed to lie his way to being the last traitor standing Grace Under Pressure is now ponderign just what else Alan Carr has been lying about. Here in a virtually true exclusive the lid is lifted on the real life one of TV’s most beloved stars.

Don't let his camp nature fool anyone, because even people with the most finely-tuned gaydar are now increasingly convinced that Carr is actually a rampant  straight, heterosexual alpha male who loves loves nothing more than to bury his head in the buxom bosom of a swimsuit models. 

Don’t let his comically large glasses fool you either because it can be revealed that Carr has the visual acuity that would put a TOP GUN pilot to shame. The glasses, much like the ones worn by Clark Kent are simply a disguise to reveal his true nature. 

And then there's that voice. Don't be mislead by that high pitches squeak because as soon as he comes off stage and is out of ear shot of the nearest camera or microphone, Alan Carr's actual voice makes the mighty Brian Blessed sound weak and feeble. 

Finally there is Alan Carr supposed renovation projects that he has 'done on TV' with Amanda Holden. Truth is its all CGI generated with a 'virtual' Alan leaving all the hard work to Amanda Holden who is in fact a qualified brickie, platerer and electrician and who swears like a hod carriers assistant. 



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