23rd October Oooo la la, another daring daylight robbery

 


Following the pilfering of valuable trinkets, baubles and other shiny items from the Louvre in downtown Paris last week, news of another daring theft has come to the attention of Grace Under Pressure.

Speaking exclusively to our esteemed and criminal under rated crime reporter, Katcha Theef, a visibly shell shocked resident of Hucknall explained how he was not just an on the spot witness but a victim of this daring theft.

"I've always wanted to go to visit Chatsworth House. I've driven past it on loads of occasions and even run in and around its spacious grounds but have never actually visited until now. So me and me other 'arf decided we go and have a nosey around. It was alright I supposed if you like big houses full of tat but it didn't really float our boats, so we cut the guided tour short and headed for the cafe for some mid morning nibbles."

"I just ordered coffee and a scone with jam for the two of us. When the woman on the till explained how much it was i thought she mistaken me for offering to buy refreshments for everyone in the queue, not just the two of us. But no."

"It all happened so quickly. I could see myself offering my card even though every fibre of my being was screaming that I was being robbed blind. And I can only conclude that everyone else must have been blind too because no one batted and eyelide or came to my rescue but just stood there as I was financially violated."

"I'm just thankful that my other half hadn't dragged me into the gift shop where a fridge magnet and a signature Chatsworth coffee cup would have meant remoguaging the house."

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