14th March Reeves rewrites rules


Chancellor Rachel Reeves has spent all of today trying to convince anyone who is the least bit interested that a 0.1% change in the UK economy can be both good and bad depending on when it happens and who is in power at the time.

Speaking to the BBC's fashion icon and part time political correspondent Chris Mason, the chancellor of the Exchequer revealed that a 0.1% increase in the UK economy when the Conservatives were in power was a reflection of their hopeless stagnant economic strategies whereas the same increase since the recent election is a stunning affirmation of Labour's revolutionary policies. 

Similarly a 0.1% decrease under the Tories could only be seen as a national catastrophy and a call for sack cloth and ashes whereas an identical decrease under her stewardship is  absolutely no cause for concern, move along please, nothing to see hear .

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure in unable to comment on whch way the economy will go but would simply be happy with a 0.1% increase in readership.

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