11th March Self diagnosis at synod

Today was presbyteral synod when probationers, ordained and retired ministers gathered for a day of worship and reflection. It is not my favourite thing to attend but as part of my covenant relationship with the church and discipline of being an ordained minister I go...reluctantly. And although most of them are as dull as ditch water, I usually come away with 'something' useful.

Today's session was loooking in part at well being and what things we do / should do to ensure we have some safety mechanisms in place to protect out well being. And I came was with the self diagnosis of suffering from burnout as I appear to be 'suffering' from a whole host of symptoms associated with such a condition. And in some ways it's probably true. 

I just put it down to being the age I am plus the recently diagnosed type 2 diabetes. But then if i stop and think about it, which I probably haven't done, it's been pretty much full on for the past few years with Covid, moving to a new position in the circuit, five churches to look after, a student to mentor (which was great fun but tiring) and more recently TOM's health. Even the cruises, whilst being really, really enjoyable, I couldn't actually say were 'relaxing'. Plus the decsion I need to make in the summer as to whether I will re-extend my stay here again or move.

I just feel a bit run down, lethargic and worn out, perhaps more mentally and emotionally than physically, although my runing has certainly taken a dip in frequency and performance. Even doing this blog on a daily basis has been a bit of a slog at times. 

I am not sure if I should be doing less and resting or doing more to shake myself out of it. One thing is for sure and that is that May cannot come soon enough when I do get three months to recharge, restore and reset.


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