25th September Keir makes it clear (ish)

Entrepreneurs Circle

Just to show that there is no end to his talents Sir Keir Starmer has used his first Labour Party conference as PM to stun the scientific community by redefining the meaning of the word light. This came during his speech in which he said there was and I quote ' light at the end of the tunnel'.

In the Oxford English dictionary light is defined as 'a type of electromagnetic radiation that allows the human eye to see and which makes objects appearer clearer and more visible'. Yesteday in a ground breaking move, Sir Keir's use of the word light at the end of the tunnel was interpreted by those listening to his speech as meaning 'an indistinguishable, intangible, incomprehensible vagueness in which everything is shrouded in murkiness and nothing is revealed,  in focus, clear or easily seen.'

Atomic physicist, Ivor Nucleus, remarked, 'Even great minds like Albert Eistein, Stephen Hawking and chiselled cheek boned Brian Cox would have been left discombobulated by this quantum leap in reinterpreting what light actually means. This comes just days after the James Webb telescope was diverted from its current mission to try actually to locate the £22 bilion pound 'Black Home' Labour keep banging on abaout.

 All we know is that it will be at the end of a tunnel of indeterminable length. Whether said tunnel will also be available for pensioners to huddle together in an attempt to keep warm this winter is as yet unknown. Off course now that the driver's strike is overn the light at the end of the tunnel might simply be the train rushing towards us. 

Unless off course you rely on Virgin West Coast railways in which case said light be probably be delayed due to leaves on the line or the wrong type of rain.

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