2nd August Going for Gold


After an Olympic sized sit-a-thon in front of his 55 inch HD television, a 60 year old armchair athlete from Hucknall has declared himself a self taught expert across a variety of Olympic disciples. 

Speaking in an exclusive to Grace Under Pressure, Ivor Chanchova Medal, described how but for a case of flat feet he could very well have been a multiple winner in not just one but several different events

"My experience as the back half of a pantomine horse in a local Christmas production, means I am already aware on the supposedly complex steps needed in the dressage event. And I didnt even need a good whipping to up my game. I was a natural."

"And those BMX bikers have nothing compared to my exploits on a glass and dog shit strewn recreation ground whilst riding my bright orange Raleigh Chopper. I've also ended up with my trunks round my ankles and showing my arse to the world after doing a bomb into a swimming pool so that's just the same as Britin's champion budgie smuggler and part time knitter Tom Daley."

Yet in an attempt to fact check and verify these claimes about his actual atheltic abilities Grace Under Pressure did manage to reveal that his fastest ever 20km run was in fact a good 30 minutes slower that the slowest competitor in the Men's 20km Olympic walk. Enough said.


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