12th August Night time robbery


In a daring smash and grab that occured before the eyes of the world but which apparently no one saw for what it really was, the Olympic Games have been stolen.

Lulled into an almost coma like state by the opening 8 hours of the arty farty pretentious closing cenermony served up by France, everyone had their guard down when a man known only as 'The Tiny Scientologist' abseiled into the stadium like a piss poor James Bond.

Blindsiding the security with his toothy grin, the Tiny Scientologist wrestled the Olympics from 4ft 8 inch Simone Biles, who appeared to tower over him during their brief tussle, before he rode off with the Olympics held hostage on the back of a motorbike.

Several people have described the Tiny Scientologist as being a 'right old cult' but that might be a simple spelling mistake. At the time of press Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm if a ransom will be demanded or whether this will be a case of the Olympics being brainwashing to believe unbelieveable truths prior to 2028. 

French Police are not thought to be devising any sort of audacious rescue plan as many feel that would be a mission impossible. 

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