17th July Unable to afford the deposit

In an atttempt to be quick off the mark with its plans to provide up to 1.5 million new houses over a five year term, the Labour government has hit the ground running with it's first proposal; a cave on the moon.

Fitting in with its plans to utilise the 'grey belt' Labour deputy prime minister Angela Rayner, described the area around property as being far more spacious and desirable that where she grew up in Stockport. Noisy neighbours won't be a problem either, something that has been an issue in Manchester in recent years. 

In fact your nearest neighbours will be 252,000 miles away but Deliveroo still claim to be able to make a home delivery within 30 mins.

The sale of the cave is expected to feature on Homes Under the Hammer, with presenter Martyn Lewsi no doubt recommendign that one of two wals be knocked down to utilise the space to the max. This is of course unless said cave isn't deemed far safer than Rwanda and repurposed to send illegal asylum seekers.


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