12th July 30 million sign petition
In breaking news Grace Under Pressure can report that new Labour government is considering granting the entire working population of Great Britain a bank holiday irrespective of Sundays football result.
Should England win the entire nation will be dumbfounded and definitely drunk. Should England lose the entire nation will be grief stricken and spend the entire day on Twitter claiming VAR got it wrong. And should England play like they have during the rest of the tournament, with Gareth Southgate expected to play a 1-10 formation in an attempt to combat the Spanish Armada, the entire nation will be in a coma.

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