23rd May Things can only get wetter


Despite having spent 2.6 million pounds on a new state of the art Press briefings room only two years ago, just how well organised the Conservative party are could be seen by how Rishi Sunak was made to stand outside in the pouring rain to deliver his resignation, sorry I mean election speech, to a not very interested world, yesterday.

In a bid to tap into the cultural zeitgeist or perhaps due to a water overload, Mr Sunak seemed to suddenly veer off track from his rapidly dissolving script.  Suddenly changing from reminding the press of all his achievements compared to those of Liz Truss, he appeared to channel the spirit of  Rutger Hauer's character in Blade Runner,

Proclaiming in a more robotic voice than normal that he had  "seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Kensington... I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near junction 11 of the M25. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain... Time to die", it left even the BBC's Chris Mason, an android replicant if ever I saw one, lost for words.

And just to add the final touches to this Tory s&*t show, it was all announced to the background sound of a group of protestors playing the Brian Cox / D Ream dance anthem 'Things can only get better', a song synonymous with Labour’s 1997 election landslide. 

Let's hope after July 4th they really do, after Rishi Sunak finally showed he is, as Grace Under Pressure always suspected, one of the true wets in the Conservative party.


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