12th May Not heaven scent


A state of high tension has been noted in a cosy close in downtown Hucknall after the first and possibly last warm weather barbecue of the year has ended in A neighbourly niggle.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, 56 year old resident,Ivan Issue, revealed, 'It's the perfect way to celebrate the arrival of warm weather with a vast array of partially cooked beef burgers and sausages cooked over a smoke belching barbie. Invite a few friends round, knock back a few cans, play some 1980's Brit Pop very loud and get a lobster red sun tan. Even the kids were slightly less than feral and Uncle Jack had managed to keep his hands to himself. Mainly. what could be more British. And then it was all ruined

"Ruined by 'them next door' putting out all that washing with its overpowering smell of Fabreze. And it wasn't the basic Vanilla or Lavender Fabreze, oh no it was the throat irritating, eye watering Thai Dragon Fruit fragrance. It put everyone off their food and it's going to take forever to get the smell out of my clothes." 

"Some people just have no consideration for their neighbours. When I shouted over the fence they were just sat there in loungers listening to the cricket on Radio Bore. In fact I think one of them had even managed to nod off whislt still releasing all that nasal chaos into the atmosphere. And don't get me started on the stench of all those flowers!"

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