30th April Stationery is stationary


UK government stationery suppliers, Pulp Fiction, have today announced that they will not be producing any more personalised headed notepaper for Holyrood until they have a cast iron assurance that the new First Minister of Scotland is going to be in post for more than 13 months.

Spreaking to Grace Under Pressure's very own fanatical font setter, Pulp Fiction's spokesperson Arial Sans Calibri, revealed, "We should have learned our lesson from the Liz Truss fiasco when the ink had barely set on the first batch of official notepaper for Downing Street before she managed to press the self destruct button and it all had to be pulped quicked that you can say 'Rebel Wilson autobiography'. "

"It was bad enough when Humzah Yousuf was elected that we had to change the official logo on the paper from a fish to something non piscine. Then he had to compromise because of the alliance with the Green Party and insist we used recyclable materials. And now he's managed to lose power even when he didnt have a credible opposition. So until further notice production of stationery is now stationary."

Meanwhile in an unexpected show of support, Rishi Sunack has offered his condolences to departing First Minister of Scotland Humza Yousaf, by saying that his resignation has set a dangerous undemcratic presendent if politicians had to resign simply because they were inneffective in the job and everyone thought they were useless.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6th May Olbia

Image
  A chance to stretch our legs today with our first port of call; Olbia, Sardinia. And it was a quick stretch too due to it being only a five hour stay. Up bright and early, so early in fact that the hot food at the buffet wasn't even ready to be served. Still it gave us a chance to watch the ship glide into port past a host of oyster/mussel beds, before performing a 180 degree turn to reverse into it's berth. A couple of short bus rides later and we were in downtown Olbia. But there an hour or so before anything appeared to open, the disadvantage of being early birds and something we don't seem to learn! Not that Olbia had a great deal to see or maybe if we had done the slightest bit of planning beforehand there might have benn but we didn't. It was pleasant enough but that's about it. It was pleasant enough but nothing special, indeed we were back on the ship after just a couple of hours ashore and then managed to sleep away most of th...
Read more

7th May Naples

Image
 I'm sure I've heard the phrase 'see Naples and die' suggesting that it is perhaps not the nicest location in the Mediterranean but if it's good enough for Diego Maradona fir a few years then it's good enough for me for 10 hours. Although the millions of tax free pounds he was paid might have eased his stay. By the time we got up, washed, dressed and up to The Kitchens, the rest of the ship were already there. Compared to the Marie Celeste of yesterday it was absolutely packed, presumably with people having breakfast before heading out on 8am excursions, our excursion was simply going to be the city of Naples itself as possible trips to Vesuvius, Pompei or the Amalfi coast would have been too much / tired.  So on a day when the weather initially seemed uncertain, we jumped aboard route A for the Hop on Hop off bus and headed out into the mayhem that is the Napoli traffic where it was every van, car and scooter for the selves. I think it's bes...
Read more