26th March Alphabeted out


English language scholars are in a panic this morning after it was revealed that the acroyn used to describe a myriad of sexual orientations and expressions has used up all the letters in the alphabet.

What started out as a simple and easy to remember 'LGB' quickly added a letter 'T' followed not long after by a '+' sign. Now this easy to remember acronym has metamorphosised as a result of people being given the freedom to self identify as who or what they wanted to be. So much so that even lingusits with 1st class honours degrees from some of the most prestigious colleges and universtities are struggling to keep up with the diversity.

Today its possible to identify as plain old LGBTQ+, LGBTQWERTY for those who chose to self identify as keyboards, LGBTQLMNOP for thos who asign themselves with the entire alphabet and of course LGBTQDORAYMEFARSOLATEDOH, for those whose gender ambiguity is akin to Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music. 

Not content with using up all the letters in the English alphabet, numbers and symbols are also been utilised to make the whole shommozal of sexual signifiers even broader. If it goes on like this, labels are are going to re-identify theselves as sashes and where will that get us I ask? Because if a label can't be labelled a label then whats the point in labelling something or someone with it anyway.

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