8th January Fitness dreams go up in flames

 

The New Year fitness aspirations of an unnamed almost 60 year old have suffered possible irrepairable damage after a severe chaffing incident with his new workout outfit.

Keen to tame the tummy whilst simultaneouly boosting his buttocks, our apathetic athlete hit the mean streets of Hucknall feeling quite the bobby dazzler in his new 100% nylon tracksuit. 

Thinking that the warm sensation in his inner thighs and nether regions was either an adrenaline rush or an incontinence incident, our pedestrian paced pavement pounder picked up the pace until he was moving as a speed equivalent to a reconditioned mobility scooter.

Suddenly without warning, in an incident that was as close to spontaneus combustion as it's possible to get without actually bursting into flames, his latest fitness foray was brought to a halt in an overload of static electricity.

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure can confirm that our very irreverant runner's fat fighting running regime is currently on temporary hold as he applys industrial amounts of sudocrem to the chaffed areas.


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