29th January Unable to deliver

Fresh on the heels of what is being called 'the biggest injustice in British legal history' and with its chairman of only 12 months ,Henry Staunton, forced to resign, the Post Office has just announced yet another great idea to try and win back public confidence. 

Speaking in an exclusive with Grace Under Pressure, Post office spokesperson, Returnte Sender, revealed, "Everyone has been up in arms over the possibility of Saturday becoming a non delivery day and so we have come up with a simple  solution. Let's not deliver on any day2

"Instead people can simply come to us to see if there is any mail. this would save our posties from being attacked by dogs and also reduce the worry of elderly people seeing their local postman / women still wearing shorts when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground".

"For those of you who have travelled abroad in days gone by, remember the excitement of turning up at some impossible to find Post Restate office in a far flung corner of the British Empire, your body surging with adrenaline at the pospect of there being some form of communication from your nearest and dearest." 

"Well just imagine a similar sensation on a wet and windy Wednesday morning in Macclefield only to discover all that's waiting for you is a leaflet from Pizza Express and a tax demand. Plus you'd get the bonus of seeing a whole collection of postal staff just sat on their backsides being paid for basically doing nothing. A bit like the executives did during the Horizon fiasco"

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