27th January It's what we all thought anyway


In news that should surprise absolutely no one, remarks make by former First Minister of Scotland, Nicola Steurgon, in the current Covid enquiry, has proved that whilst she might be pretty ropey when it comes to accounting, she is in fact a pretty shrewd judge of Boris Johnson's character, credentials and competance. 

Throwing in for good measure that she considered Theresa May to be a useful as a marzipan dildo only confirmed her astute judgement. Indeed what has suprised many both within the corridors of Westminter and in the cafes of this sceptered isle, is the fact that she didn't used a wider range of expletives to describe Boris Johnson and his governments handing of the pandemic

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure one Tory backbencher revealed, "To be honest it was all pretty tame stuff compared to what he gets called within his own party. I mean the expletive 'f^%$*£g' is almost like another middle name for him. I have had a bit more respect for Nicola if she had used a wider and more implicit use of swear words to describe him."  

"I mean she's hardly Adele when it comes to being a potty mouth is she.She should have come to sit with us up in the rafters, God it's like a meeting of the 'Sailors with Tourettes Society."

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure has been unable to confirm the content of Nicola Steurgons deleted What's Upp messages but we are able to confirm that the amount of money collected in the SNP's swear box might well just be enough to cover the cost of a state of the art motor home.


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