17th January Not quite Scorchio


Hands up if your favourite ever weather forecast was that delivered on The Fast Show by Channel 9's Spanish weather girl, Paulo Fisch, played by the wonderful and much missed Carolyne Aherne. 

Transporting us back in time before the advent of digital clickers and green screen, Paulo would simply slap her often non sticky weather symbol of a blazing sun all across whatever countries map was behind her, a map that invariably showed the temp to be a uniform 45 degrees. All delivered with her trademark proclamation...Scorchio!!

Scorchio was the last thing on BBC weather man, Tomaz Shaffernaker's lips yesterday when the visibly frosty frontman, stood somewhere north of Hadrian's Wall, wearing due to a BBC wardrobe malfunction, nothing more than a singlet and a pair of 1970's skimpy shorts as he attempted to deliver the weather forcast.

Speaking to Naga Munchetty, sat in the greenhouse like temperature of the BBC studio st Salford Quays, Tomaz quickly dispensed with his usual meterological terms to describe the 'nip from the north' when he suddenly revealed that his nips had actually developed icicles and that it wasn't only the balls on a brass monkey they were in danger of being frozen off. 

When Naga and Charlie appeared a tad bewildered by his expressions, Tomaz simiply began slapping snow and ice stickers up and down the length of his green screen map of the UK whilst shouting at the camera 'F%$&*%g Freezing' over and over again, an expression that certainly brought a rosy glow to Ms Munchetty's cheeks.

Several keyboard warriors immediatly contacted the BBC to demand that sanctions should be imposed on Mr Shaffenaker following this unseasonal outburst until they themselves nipped outside to put the bins out only to discover after a mere couple of minutues that he was in fact right and that it was 'F%$&*%g Freezing' out there.

 



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