12th January First it was May...


First it was May. then the government had a change of heart with Rishi Sunak droppping hints that the election might well be in November. 

Now in what may or may not be factual gibberish, the Tory party have decided that the election is going to be next week after realising that the contract for counting the votes (just the Tory ones) has been awarded to Fujitsu.

This is the first time a UK election will be done electronically as opposed to having to trek to the polling station located in some obscure church hall. The new program which is called 'Vennels' is described as being as 'robust' as any comparable computer bsed system used in North Korea, Russia, Zimbabwe and according to Donald Trump, the state of Georgia.

Head of Fujitsu cyber security, Ivor Gigga Byte, revealed, "It is expected to operate best in marginal and not so marginal blue seats, where sitting Tory MP's together with those fightng to become members of Parliament will be able to see their actual votes simply double, treble and even quadruple right before their eyes."

At the time of going to press, Grace Under Pressure feels that despite these technological shernanigans, this will still not be enough to save true blues from ending up red faced at the ballot box.










Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6th May Olbia

Image
  A chance to stretch our legs today with our first port of call; Olbia, Sardinia. And it was a quick stretch too due to it being only a five hour stay. Up bright and early, so early in fact that the hot food at the buffet wasn't even ready to be served. Still it gave us a chance to watch the ship glide into port past a host of oyster/mussel beds, before performing a 180 degree turn to reverse into it's berth. A couple of short bus rides later and we were in downtown Olbia. But there an hour or so before anything appeared to open, the disadvantage of being early birds and something we don't seem to learn! Not that Olbia had a great deal to see or maybe if we had done the slightest bit of planning beforehand there might have benn but we didn't. It was pleasant enough but that's about it. It was pleasant enough but nothing special, indeed we were back on the ship after just a couple of hours ashore and then managed to sleep away most of th...
Read more

7th May Naples

Image
 I'm sure I've heard the phrase 'see Naples and die' suggesting that it is perhaps not the nicest location in the Mediterranean but if it's good enough for Diego Maradona fir a few years then it's good enough for me for 10 hours. Although the millions of tax free pounds he was paid might have eased his stay. By the time we got up, washed, dressed and up to The Kitchens, the rest of the ship were already there. Compared to the Marie Celeste of yesterday it was absolutely packed, presumably with people having breakfast before heading out on 8am excursions, our excursion was simply going to be the city of Naples itself as possible trips to Vesuvius, Pompei or the Amalfi coast would have been too much / tired.  So on a day when the weather initially seemed uncertain, we jumped aboard route A for the Hop on Hop off bus and headed out into the mayhem that is the Napoli traffic where it was every van, car and scooter for the selves. I think it's bes...
Read more