3rd October Watch out it could happen to U2

Finally after terroising the ears of the world with a series of apocalyptically atrocious albums dating back to the late 2000's, Irish terror oganisation 'U2' have finally been captured and contained within a hermetically sealed sphere in the middle of the Nevada desert where they will pose no more threat to humanity.

Lured by a very clever international police sting operation, one that has been years in the construction, U2 were invited to perform in the new 875,000 square foot sphere dominating the skyline of Ls Vegas, a structure that had been 'promoted'  as being the only structure on earth capable of housing Bono's ego. Unable to resist the temptation, Bono and the boys took the bait thinking they were going to play the inaugural concert to a global audience of billions. 

Unfortunatly for them but fortunately for the rest of the world, the sphere turned out to be a giant soundproofed trap from which there is no escape. With the images of adoring milllions being projected on the inner surface of the dome and a sountrack of their screams coming from the Hi definition speakers, Bono was simply too caught up in the adulation to relise it was all a trap. Before it was too late.

In a matter of days the sphere will disappear from view slowly sinking into the desert sands to be buried under millions of tons of non RRC concrete and the world will finally be free from the aural terror and threat of them releasing any more material on an unsupecting world. Now all we have to do it catch Ed Sheeran.