26th October Through the year with Keir


In a move that will either set them on course for a landslide victory at the ballot box in 2024 or banish them to that side of the house for a further 5 long years, the Labour Party has decided to play its election joker card early with the announcement of the Sir Keir Starmer 2024 calendar. Yes its your chance to gt up close and personal as you go through the year with possibly the dullest man in British politics.

Drawing inspiration from other iconic images from down the years, the month of June mimicks the famous shot of Fiona Butler from the Athena calendar of 1977. The 2024 upgrade shows Sir Keir pulling up one leg of his shorts to scratch an itchy arse, revealing as he does so that he is attempting to play tennis whilst going 'commando'. 

April reminds viewers of Pirelli's finest efforts as bare chested and smother in lubricant oil Sir Keir attempts to change the tyre on an electric powered mini. Whilst January shows Sir Kier riding on a stallion through a snow covered landscape, wearing leather chaps and a cowboy hat

Whether his tribute to the NHS in which he is seen posing on a trolley in A&E wearing nothing but a see through surgical gown and a strategically placed sick bowl will be enough to turn the undecided voter in favour of Labour is at present uncertain. It certianly turned this viewer head and stomach.

A spokesperson for the Labour Party revealed, "Downing Street and politics in general can be a very unsexy place. Do you remember Thersa May's attempts to shake her booty to Dancing Queen!!!. I feel nauseus just thinking about it. We want to put an image orshould I say 12 images of Sexy Starmer on every kitchen wall in the country. And with 'Sir Keir through the year' we think we've got a sure fire vote winner. One that will hopefully make up for our lack of policies."







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