8th Sept Ginger health warning issues


Gingers up and down the length of the UK have been advised not to even think about opening the curtains today. never mind consider actually going out.

Record September temperatures that can fry eggs and melt candles will mean that anyone who is remotely ginger has been warned to simply stay in a darkened room until at least Monday. This in part explains why Prince Harry went to pay his respects (ha!) at Winder Castle yesterday rather than risk being liquified in today's heatwave. 

Strawberry blondes and those of a fair disposition are also advised to exercise great caution about venturing out after 8am. For those who are friends of 'Gingers', as perverse as that might sound, should carriy around an emergency fire blanket should they see their Ginger besties about to spontaneously combust as the sun moves out from behind a fluffy cloud.

BBC weatherman Tomaz Schaffenaker has predicted that temperatures  will cool enough next week making it possible for Hucknall's first ever “Ginger Pride” parade to take place next week. Hordes of carrot-tops will march up and down the streets and celebrate all that is good about being ginger. This should take aprrox 7 minutes before heading inside to hide in a cupboard.

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