6th Sept Out with levelling up....

Out with 'Levelling Up' and in with 'Holding Up', that's the new slogan emerging from Conservative head office today. 

Having given up on trying to polish the turd they have made of school buildings during the past 13 years, the government has today attempted to roll said turd in glitter to make it more attractive to teachers, parents and school children by adding the new 'Holding Up' course to the national curriculum.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's educationally substandard scribe, government spokesperson, Thatza Bigcrack, revealed, "This decisive action undertaken by the government a mere 10 years too late, will finally help to rectify the fact that we have sat on our arse for well over a decade. It will also help small school children work on their upper body strength by holding up susceptible bits of ceiling and walls."  

"This innovative and forward thinking strategy will drastically reduce the need for any additional funding from central coffers, which is always the cry from the woke liberal left who think crumbling schools, hospitals and offices are something to worry about. Current research shows most folks don't go into the office to work, can't get a hospital bed for love nor money or remember what a school based education actually is."

"These lessons in ‘student structural reinforcement’ will develop practical knowledge in areas such as Maths, Physics and Anatomy as little heads work out how much pressure applied at a particular angle willl cause still developing bones to bend and ultimately break."