27th Sept Are you less than average?


In breaking news Grace Under Pressure has issued a nationwide alert to all those who woke up today feeling fit, healthy and decidedly less than average with the realisation that they could be spending far more time being paid to stay at home instead of going into work.

Speaking in a virtually true exclusive interview, Hucknall resident, Fitazza Fiddle, revealed, "Imagine my shock when I discovered that my healthy lifestyle was actually affecting my life in unforseen ways, meaning that I am actually well below the national average of taking 7.8 days a year off work because of ill health."

"It turns out that all of my mates are throwing 'sickies' in order to go the races or take an extended weekend away. Some have turned malingering into their main hobby, whilst muggins here has been battling on through aches, pains and splutters to get into work."

"Now with just over three months of the working year to go, I find myself way behind the average. Personnally I think if we hadn't left the EU this would never have happened. It's all the fault of Brexit."

“I’m just going to have to 'develop' some sudden, very vague and non specific symptoms that just appear out of nowehere and whose onset just happens to coincide with the knockout stages of the Rugby World Cup or some really good box set that's just dropped on Netflix."


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