24th Sept A liberal sprinkling of pie in the sky politics


In a move that represents the massive political U turn happening right now in this country, following not just one but two by election victories in the past 12 months, the Liberal Democrats have had to double the amount of space needed for their current conference in Bournmouth,

This has been a logistical nightmare for head of resource procurment' Cressida Farquahar Ponsenby Blthye, who has had to undertake a frantic last minutes search for an additional tressle table, book two more single rooms at the local Premier Inn and upgrade the Friday night get together at Waggamama's to a table for 18.

With absolutly no chance of coming to power in any way shape or form the conference has so far seen leader Sir Ed Davey promise everyone one in the country their own medical team on standby 24 / 7, every child a unicorn to ride, every teenager a place at an Oxbridge university and every pensioner fully paid health care in a castle or a trip to Dignitas.

"Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's very own back bencher, life long Liberal, Namby Pamby from Matlock, explained, "This is just dream politics. We have less chance of getting elected than Russell Brand does of appearing on Celebrity First Dates, so we can just promise the moon on a stick knowing we will never ever ever have to try to fulfil those promises". 

"It's that poor Keir Starmer I feel sorry for. He has to make promises he might actually have to keep, whereas we can say any nonesense without any worry at all of making it happen. I mean not even Nick Clegg could f&^% this one up for us."

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