15th Sept Four year old calls it quits after one week


In a move that has shocked and horrified his parents, desperate to have some kind of respite after years of constantly having to look after him 24/7, four year old Sam Wilkins has announced that school just isn't for him.

Despite a week in which he has met loads of new potential friends and had the chance to explore, encounter and engage with lots of new activities, five days has been more than enough for Sam to declare he's had enough of school and what's happening next week.  

Speaking in an exclusive to Grace Under Pressure, Sam revealed, "It was alright for a day, a bit like going to Centre Parks, but then when I realised we were just going to do the same stuff over and over and over again for the next 12 years at least. I mean just how much crayoning can someone do before it starts to get a bit dull?"

"And I'm sure my mum is missing me being at home all day so for everyones mental health and well being I'll just quit right now so the status quo can be resumed. I do think it will be really good for my three year old sister to go next year, preferably with a breakfast and after schools club tagged on at either end. In fact I'd even give up my pocket money if it means she could go to boarding school."


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