14th Sept Kate in kitkat kerfuffal

 

In an exclusive virtually true interview, Kate Midleton, Princess of Wales and Queen in waiting, has explained how she was lucky to escape with only a fracture after she 'almost' lost a hand in an altercation with a vending machine that refused point blank to dispense her chosen selection, despite her being right Royal and all that.

Kate who was visiting a prison, possibly as a trial run for going to see Prince Andrew later in the year, revealed how she had been overcome with the mid morning munchies earlier in the week during a visit to a local hospital or hospice or some other do goody event.

Having managed to cadge a quid from one of her security guards, Kate fancied having a break with an Orange chunky KitKat only for the machine to swallow her coin of the realm without relinquishing said confectionary.

Having unsuccesfully tried to get a refund and then secretly tried to rock the machine back and forth in an attempt to relese the dangling Kitkat, her royal highness was left with no other option than to get down on her royal knees and attempt to slot her right (literally) royal arm deep into the internal workings of the machine.

All was going well until a member of the general plebs, sorry public, happened to turn the corner and catch Kate in such a compromising position. Attemping to remove her hand from the vending machine in lightening speed, whilst at the same time maintaining a grace and poise Maghan can only dream about, this resulted in the spring loaded product dispenser door snapping back into position, mangling Mrs Windsor's metacarpals in the process.

At the time of going to press  Grace Under Pressure in unable to confirm whether this life changing injury will qualify Kate to compete in the Invictus Games in 2024, but with Harry organising it, the answer is probably no.



 

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