6th March From gogglebox to box office


You know when they take a really good TV and try to upsize it by turning it into a movie that just ends up being less than half as good as the original series. Think The Inbetweeners, think Bad Education, think The Dukes of Hazzard, think Sex in the City (but only if you really have too). 

Well with the release next week of the cinematic version of Luther, the deliciously dark decective series starring Idris Elba, Grace Under Pressure couldn't help wondering with great trepidation just what other shows might TV bosses be thinking deserve an upgrade to the IMAX screen

Imagine The Repair Shop rebranded to resemble the Marvel Multiverse. Settle back to watch the assembled avengers of Jay, Will, Susie and Amanda battle their arch villans, Woodworm, Frayed Fabric and Rust. At over 140 minutes long and filmed in 3D an extended Repair Shop will allow plenty of scope for sob stories from individuals too tight to pay for the restoration themselves but canny enough to flog the repair item on Ebay within days of receiving it back from the show.

Or ponder if you can a three hour director's cut of The One Show, which let's be honest is 30 minutes too long in its current format. The extended format will enable tthe BBC to use every one of its entire presenting team to cover every emotion know to humankind apart from that of enjoyment.

Maybe your fantasy way of spending several hours in a darkened space would be with a group of Loose Women. No not that kind of Loose Women but rather the kind that just go on and on and on and on about nothing  every ITV lunchtime. Now their innane squabbles can run the length of an entire afternoon and several buckets of popcorn.

Last but not least just imagine a version of Supermarket Sweep featuring Ryland (not the legendary Dale Winton) being viewed on a giant IMAX screen. The tension that would build up over a four hour dash round an Lidl supermarket wondering if our two principle actors will work out which is the ultimate bargain to grab from the middle aisle would surely be worthy of an Oscar nomination.



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