5th March When gray turns red


The news that the author of the PartyGate report, Sue Gray is about to leave her role in the Civil Service to take up a role as the Labour Party's chief of staff has been met with cries of outrage from the true blue Tory Faithful.

Outraged of Tunbridge Wells has already written to the Daily Mail, both in print and on line several times, to cast doubt on her impatiality whilst compiling the report that simply confirmed what the rest of the UK already knew ie Boris Johnson is a complete cockwomble.

"It's blatently obvious," spluttered Outraged of Tunbridge Wells, almost spilling his glass of Bolly in the process, "that Sue Gray is a communist sympathiser who is only now showing her true colours. I mean for heaven's sake if Boris says he wasn't at any of those parties, where there are multpiple photographs showing he was present at those parties, then he simply wasn't present at those parties. That's the end of the matter. This newly flushed out Labourite has simply made up all this so called 'evidence' given by other non alligned third parties, to suit her own agenda."

At the time of going to press Outraged of Tunbridge Wells is being sedated by highly qualified medical team in preperation for the moment when Grace Under Pressure breaks the news that Sue Gray has in the past few years also had part time jobs as a parking official at Barnard Castle, a Pizza devilery person, a birthday cake baker, a shop assistant in a local Westminister off licence, a high end wallpaper seller and a marriage dress lender.

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