27th March It's a very gaseous event


In breaking news Grace Under Pressure can reveal that Humzah Yusuf has swept to power in his bid to become First Minister in Scotland, riding on the back of an election promise to ensure that Nitrous Oxide is freely available in Scotland and that no one will be forced to wear a flourescent orange jumpsuit in public, no matter what crime they have committed This is in stauch defiance of PM Rishi Sunak's attempts to outlaw the drug in England and seems to be almost as big a political divide as that of independence.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, Mr Yusef explained, "People say that it's a gateway gas, one that will only lead people on to try heavier gases but there is no evidence to suggest that at all. I mean breathing in Oxygen hasn't led anyone as far as I know to start taking a swipe from a helium balloon so that they can talk in a funny high pitched voice. And doing that isn't going to mean that folks are going to be off their tits on Nitrous Oxide."

"But let's be honest given the current state of Scotland, who wouldn't want to partake in a drug that gives you an immediate sense of euphoria, relaxation, calmness and a sense of detachment given the chance. I know I do having realised I've actually won the election!!!"

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6th May Olbia

Image
  A chance to stretch our legs today with our first port of call; Olbia, Sardinia. And it was a quick stretch too due to it being only a five hour stay. Up bright and early, so early in fact that the hot food at the buffet wasn't even ready to be served. Still it gave us a chance to watch the ship glide into port past a host of oyster/mussel beds, before performing a 180 degree turn to reverse into it's berth. A couple of short bus rides later and we were in downtown Olbia. But there an hour or so before anything appeared to open, the disadvantage of being early birds and something we don't seem to learn! Not that Olbia had a great deal to see or maybe if we had done the slightest bit of planning beforehand there might have benn but we didn't. It was pleasant enough but that's about it. It was pleasant enough but nothing special, indeed we were back on the ship after just a couple of hours ashore and then managed to sleep away most of th...
Read more

7th May Naples

Image
 I'm sure I've heard the phrase 'see Naples and die' suggesting that it is perhaps not the nicest location in the Mediterranean but if it's good enough for Diego Maradona fir a few years then it's good enough for me for 10 hours. Although the millions of tax free pounds he was paid might have eased his stay. By the time we got up, washed, dressed and up to The Kitchens, the rest of the ship were already there. Compared to the Marie Celeste of yesterday it was absolutely packed, presumably with people having breakfast before heading out on 8am excursions, our excursion was simply going to be the city of Naples itself as possible trips to Vesuvius, Pompei or the Amalfi coast would have been too much / tired.  So on a day when the weather initially seemed uncertain, we jumped aboard route A for the Hop on Hop off bus and headed out into the mayhem that is the Napoli traffic where it was every van, car and scooter for the selves. I think it's bes...
Read more