23rd March Channeling my inner Heath Ledger

 There are many ways to conduct a defence against a whole stack of charges put against you. You could take the OJ Simpson option and hire a crack team of lawyers. You yourself could possess a brilliant legal mind and be able to dispense with highly paid profesionals to prove your innocence. Or you could channel your inner Heath Ledger and turn up for a career making appearance kitted out as The Joker, ready to plead insanity.

The sound of the 'parp parp' issued by the horn on the car heralding Boris Johnson arrived at his hearing of the privileges committee give observors some idea, even before he came into view, that former PM Johnson was not going to conduct a normal defence against the charges of being a 'lying dickhead'. It was however still a shock to see that Mr Johnson had made an effort for once with his appearance as shown by his garishly painted face, water squirting bow tie and squeaky clown shoes, together with that unmistakable mop of straw for hair.

Admitting he knowingly broke the rules was always a non starter as was admitting he was such an arrogant mugwump he simply thought the rules didn't apply to him (even though he almost certainly didn't). Similarly admitting he was too stupid to even follow the rules he had made was also ruled out leaving Mr Johnson with only possible option. To channel the spirit of the late great Heath Ledger's greatest ever role and just plead insanity.

Whether this will get him off the charges remains to be seen but Boris fans are hoping that after seeing this new sympathetic as well as sociaopathic side to Boris, the Tory faithful will onceagain start frothign at the mouth at the prospect of him returning to the realms of power. After all 'He's just mad!!' is the perfect three word election slogan.


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